111) Learn Lessons - Being a peacemaker

"If we have not peace it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." Mother Teresa.

During WWI in 1914 British and German soldiers were assured that they would be home for Christmas. But the war dragged on and on and nearly 85 hundred thousand people died and many were injured. On the night of December 24, 1914, the weather was freezing cold. The soldiers could not hide in trenches since the slush was also very cold. The German soldiers began to light candles and hold aloft Christmas trees. The British soldiers watched and were amazed. The Germans were sitting ducks - they could be shot down. Instead, they saw it as a sign of hope and emerged from their hiding. The Germans began singing "Silent Night"; the British joined the singing. They dropped their weapons, shook hands and exchanged small gifts. Enemies forgot their differences and peacefully celebrated Christmas. This incident became wartime history.

Do we hold on to differences and nurse grudges in our hearts - with those who were once friends, with relations who were once close; with colleagues who were almost friends; with spouses; with children; with parents? Relationships that have gone sour are the breeding grounds for animosity and plotting. If only we remember the WWI incident, we shall gain strength and put away our differences and extend our hands in cordiality. We shall regain what we lost. Unless we teach our children to overlook differences and focus on what is common, they too will bear grudges against teachers, one time friends, and playmates. They will lose out on the beauty of forgiveness and the warm embrace of love.
They and we will regain peace, because together we have learned that we belong to one another. Shall we promise ourselves that we shall not delay but start immediately to mend fences?

110) Learn Lessons - Lend a helping hand

"You cannot live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you." John Wooden

The Economist of March 31, 2012, carried an insightful article. Lyn Lusi (62) died in the Congo after a life time of service. Under the banner of HEAL - Health, Education, Action, Love - she reached out to the raped/abused women and the traumatized children of the Congo. Her husband, a local, performed surgeries to mend broken bones. Together, they worked wonders, bringing hope where there was despair, strength where there was weakness and healing where there many many wounds of body and mind. They worked tirelessly, sparing no time, effort or expense. We can salute in admiration!

Can we stop at that? Should we not ask ourselves what we do with our lives besides making money, advancing our careers and seeking popularity? Do we reach out? Not in the big way Lyn Lusi did, but in small ways? Is our neighbor happy to meet us because we genuinely care, and not pretend concern? Is that distant cousin who is without a job pleased when we make sincere inquiries and offer practical suggestions, and not offer casual advice? Is the old lady, sick for months, in the next block, really happy to have us visit her and share our concern for her health and well being? Unless we care, how will our children care? From whom will they learn to lend a shoulder to a classmate who has lost a parent, help a slow learner without showing off, keep company of an acquaintance who is feeling homesick and lonely? We cannot end a perfect day without reaching out; so too our children.

109) Learn Lessons - Loving children without counting the cost.

"Who is it that loves me and will love me forever with an affection which no chance, no misery, no crime of mine can do away? It is you, my mother. Thomas Carlyle.

Some years ago, on a hot summer day, a little boy went out to swim in the old swimming hole, behind his house. He jumped into the water and swam towards the middle of the lake. Just then an alligator swam towards the boy. The boy's mother, by now, had reached the lake and watched with dread the approaching alligator. She yelled to her son to get to the shore fast. As the boy reached the shore the mother grabbed him, even as the alligator snapped at his feet. A fierce tussle ensued between the mother and the alligator, each trying to pull the boy. Hearing her screams, a farmer who passed by shot the alligator, just in time. After weeks in the hospital, the boy recovered, but the ugly scars on his legs, from the ferocious teeth of the alligator, told the tale of a lucky escape. The scars on his arms were less ugly, but deep - where his mother's nails dug deep into his flesh to hold on to him. He prided in those scars as he gloated over his mother's superior strength, born of strong love.

Without warning, we are called upon to demonstrate heroic love for our children; perform super human acts of love. Are we mentally ready? When the time comes, will we be found wanting? Such acts may not always call for physical strength. They may test our moral correctness, when we have to protect our children from the preying claws of evil. When their baser instincts militate against the programming given to them at home, we will have to there for them gently guiding them to safety. That is when love is stronger than other forces!

108) Learn Lessons - Disciplining children

"Without discipline we can solve nothing." M. Scott Peck

There was shocking news in yesterday's newspaper. A 15-year-old student stabbed his teacher to death in a well known school in Chennai, South India. She had written comments in his diary on his poor performance, for his parents to read. That seems to have provoked his heinous act. He stabbed her in the throat, chest and abdomen. She died on her way to hospital. The act was premeditated, not impulsive, because he came to school with the knife carefully wrapped in a paper. When asked why he killed his teacher he replied that he had recently watched a Hindi movie in which the hero avenges the injustice to his family. He wanted to avenge what appeared to be the injustice of the teacher. The police report states that he came from a rich family who indulged his every whim and pampered him with a lot of pocket money. We are yet to know what will become of the case, but we have alarm bells ringing.

Are we guilty of spoiling our children without disciplining them? Do they react in anger and defiance when admonished? Have they lost respect for elders and teachers? Do they scheme and plot vengeance? Do we shield them when they do wrong? Do we pick on others when they are at fault? Do we guide them in the choice of movies and TV programs they watch? Is our parenting going wrong somewhere? It is time we took stock.

107) Learn Lessons - Not imposing ourselves on others.

"Never impose on others, what you would not choose for yourself." Confucius (551-479 BC)

A pro-life woman was picketed by pro-choice protesters. The day was cold, so she bought doughnuts and coffee and herself handed out the nourishment to the protesters. They were silenced. She told them that her choice was different from theirs but she respected them as people.

What an edifying example! What do we normally do when people disagree with us and choose to vehemently oppose us? We take it as a personal affront; we fight back; bad mouth them; and hold grudges, when we do not succeed in getting them to accept our way of thinking. Here is a fine woman who shows us a different way of dealing with the same situation. When we learn to disagree agreeably, not only do we keep our peace, but also we become spheres of influence to others, mainly our children. When they see us unruffled in challenging situations, they too will learn to face them with composure. Their young lives will be edifying.

106) Learn Lessons - Value relationships

"Relationships are what life is all about." Rick Warren

In his book, My Confessions, Russian Novelist Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910), admits to his blunder of chasing fame through his writing, which robbed him of the wealth of relationships. He chose the embrace of fame and popularity to the warmth of close relationships.

Tolstoy is not alone in his lamentation. Many of us do, but lack the courage to face the problem head-on and solve it. Instead, we remain slaves to our passions - lust for pleasure, craving for power, insatiable hunger for money and unquenchable thirst for fame. We chase these phantoms at the risk of our relationships - with spouse, children, parents, siblings, colleagues, friends and even strangers, who are friends we have not met. We draw boundaries and keep people at a distance, seldom letting them enter the inner circle of our lives. We will not spare a thought or time for others, obsessed with our personal agenda.

It is time we revisited our relationships. It is time we embraced those eager to encircle us with their arms and give us a place in their hearts. There is no better time to do it than at the start of a New Year.

Seeing us change our priorities and give our relationships the place they merit, our children will learn to value people and not things. They will discover the meaning of love.

105) Learn lessons - thank God for blessings

"What you are is God's gift to you; what you do with yourself is your gift to God." Danish Proverb.

A cynic, sitting under a huge nut-bearing tree holds a monologue with God. Such a huge tree has such small nuts and a slender creeper bears a huge water melon. "Is that not disproportionate", he asks God? Just as he concludes his question, a nut from the tree falls on his head. In relief, the cynic exclaims: "Thank God that was not a water melon!"

As the year draws to a close, it is time we reflected on the numerous blessings we received from God. Apparently, some life-situations seemed insurmountable. In retrospect, they were blessings cast in the shape of opportunities. Our meditation could take us one step ahead: now that we are on the threshold of a new year, what can we do for God with the blessings He has given us? Could we become more productive? Could we reach out to others gladly? Could we use the many talents we have with purpose? The questions could go on and on, but the point is the same: Can we thank God through acts of love? Once we are convinced that we can bring more direction into our lives in the New year, we could inspire our children to use their young lives effectively.

Let me wish visitors to this blog a blessed and peace-filled Christmas and an eventful 2012. Have a great year! God bless.

104) Learn Lessons - match aspirations with capability

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." Theodore Roosevelt

A man was seen fishing. Every time he caught a big fish, he threw it back in the water. Each time he caught a small fish, he kept it. A puzzled onlooker asked him why he did what he was doing. The man blinked and replied: "I have only an eight inch frying pan. The big fish will not fit." It did not occur to him that he could cut the big fish to size. That is not the point. The lesson for us is that we match our aspirations with our capabilities. The fish to fit the pan.

Not every dancer can dance like Michael Jackson. Not every sprinter can match Usain Bolt. Not every boxer can do an Ali. Not every singer can sing like Jim Reeves or Connie Francis. Not every poet can be another John Milton. Each can operate within limits; within the capability he or she has. It is important to realize this. Often we chase wild dreams, hoping to conquer heights we cannot climb. We envy those who excel at what we cannot. We live dissipated lives, because we will not come to terms with our limited skills. We could aim at the stars to hit at least the tree tops. That is fine, as long as we are realistic. When we learn to match our ambitions with our ability, our children will learn from us and not spend wasted days dreaming of things they cannot do. If my son is a straggler in class, no amount of my persuasion will push him to the top. He could improve his performance, but not above his capability. He should not become a depressed young fellow, because I keep goading him to achieve something that is clearly out of limits for him. It is better to heed the advice of Theodore Roosevelt and be content - not letting up on efforts, but moderating aspirations.

103) Learn Lessons - small is big

"They also serve who only stand and wait." John Milton

A water bearer carried two pots on a cane across his neck as he fetched water for his master's household. One pot was slightly cracked and leaked water; the other was without flaw. As he carried water each time, water leaked from the cracked pot. This happened day after day, until the cracked pot lamented: "I leak water. Your hard work is not rewarded. Can you not fix the leak?" The pot bearer patiently explained: "No matter how broken we are, we serve a purpose." "What purpose do I serve," the pot asked? The pot bearer questioned with understanding:"I wonder if you have noticed the bed of flowers on the route we take to the stream?" "Not really," the pot answered. "The water that leaks from you, waters that bed of flowers. Fresh flowers bloom which I collect for my master's table. So, you help the flowers and the flowers help us. You and your leak serve a purpose."
(I owe this story to my grandson, Augustus, who narrated it with gusto.)

This is where small is big - small acts have a big impact. Without our knowing, we are engaged in small acts of kindness which impact the lives of others, very often, in a big way. We treat them as trifles, but kindness is no trifling matter.Perhaps a warm welcome to someone who is sad, can cheer that person. Perhaps a little relief to someone who is overburdened, can bring a smile to replace a frown. A word of encouragement, can put a spring into the step of one who is lagging behind. Small acts add up like flowers that go to make a bouquet. John Milton's words at the top of this post offer the same thought - he was blind but hoped that his poetry would help readers in a small way; actually they helped people in a big way. When our children see us perform little acts of kindness and small deeds of mercy, they too will want to follow our example and reach out to children around them. Before long they will have a halo over their heads.

102) Learning lessons - Smile

"You can give the poor even your life, but if you don't give it with a smile, you give them nothing." Mother Teresa.

(The story that appears below was sent to me by an acquaintance. I thank her.)

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called "Smile."

The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reaction. I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say, hello anyway ... so, I thought, this would be a piece of cake, literally. Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to a hotel, one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special play time with our son. We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did. I did not move an inch ... an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved. As I turned around I smelled a horrible "dirty body smell" and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men. As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was "smiling". His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance. He said, "Good day" as he counted the few coins he had been clutching. The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally deficient and the blue eyed gentle man was his salvation. I held my tears ... as I stood there with them. The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted. He said, "Coffee is all Miss" because that was all they could afford. To sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something, and they just wanted to be warm.

Then I really felt it ... the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes. That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me ... judging my every action. I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray. I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue eyed gentleman's cold hand. He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Thank you." I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, "I did not do this for you ... God is here working through me to give you hope." I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son.

When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, "That is why God gave you to me honey ... to give me hope." We held hands for a moment. That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love. I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand. I turned in "my project" and the instructor read it ... then she looked up at me and said, "Can I share this?" I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class.

A smile costs us nothing,but it lights up someone's life.When we smile we spread good cheer and hope. We open the door to happiness - both for ourselves and others. And when we give with a smile the giving is treasured. Once we make a habit of giving with a smile, it will rub off on our children to bring them a share of happiness. We owe it to them.

101) Learning lessons - Discovering the unique child

"What society does to its children, so will its children do to society." Cicero

A certain young politician had taken up the cause of a minority group. He was completely engrossed in this project - writing, speaking and debating the issue at every forum he could find. It had become for him a magnificent obsession.

One day, a young man from the minority group visited him and begged for a moment of his time. Peeved at the young man's insistence to meet him, the politician instructed his assistant to inform the visitor that he was totally caught up in the cause of the group that he could not spare time for the individual. The startled assistant replied: "Sir, that is incredible. Even God has not reached that stage, yet". The politician had got behind a cause and ignored the person in front of him.

The same thing happens to many of us - we get caught up in the concepts of parenting that we ignore or forget to pay attention to the individual child, the one who is different, unique. To treat each child differently and not by common standards is the holy duty of parents. Instead, we try to bracket them as children and deal with them as a group - neglecting their individual preferences, traits, their blossoming personalities.

We are ruffled when we are stereotyped; yet we do precisely that to children without a thought for the person that each is. As a result our children are emotionally bruised and nurse many hurts. These hurts sometime disfigure their personalities. And willy- nilly we pay the price for the harm we bring upon them.

100) Teach children lessons - that your love cannot be measured.

"Where there is love, there is no labor; or, if there is labor, the labor is loved."
Saint Augustine.

A mother had twelve children. The youngest was a sad sight - physically and emotionally challenged. When Mother Teresa offered to take the child to her Home for children, the mother of the child begged her not to separate her child from her. "This child is the greatest gift God has given my family. All our love is showered on her. If you take her away from us, our lives would have no more meaning". (Story taken from the book: Mother Teresa, In my own words.)

This story should set us thinking. In some of our homes there could be a child who is a slow learner, autistic, deformed or physically challenged in some way. How do we respond to that child? Fatalistic? This is a cross I must carry? Is there unspoken anguish? Do we see the child as a burden that we are forced to shoulder? Do we secretly wish that the child passes on? Our attitude to the child will speak through our actions - labor that can be loved.

Perhaps, we could also learn from the mother of six, who was asked which of her six children she loved the most. Without hesitation she answered: I love that child most who is in trouble. When he is out of trouble, I love the next child who is in trouble. Her love was a response to the need of the child - not her need. As Saint Augustine puts it again: "The measure of love, is to love without measure."

99) Teach children lessons - setting norms

"We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are." Anais Nin.

A man passes a watch maker's shop everyday and stops to correct his watch. The watch maker sees this and inquires why the man had to correct his watch daily. He replies that he works in the adjoining factory and has to make sure that he rings the factory bell exactly at 4PM at closing time. Concealing a blush, the watch maker confides that his clock does not work well and that he corrects his clock everyday when the factory bell rings.

The story may amuse us, but strangely that is what happens to many of us. We keep adjusting our value system to the norms others have only to discover that their norms are suspect. We try to ape others to be befuddled when we find that we are following the wrong standards. Sometimes we have the courage to change and reset our value system. At other times we just carry on. The problem strikes us when our children act likewise. They switch from time to time to adopt priorities of those they fancy. They do not stop to search their minds. They do not see things as they are but as they are - blind followers of others. We owe it to them, not only to have the right standards for our lives, but also help set their own clocks.

98) Teach children lessons - value relationships

"In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart."
Anne Frank (Nazi victim)

Leo Tolstoy in his book My Confessions admits to the blunder of chasing fame through his writings, which robbed him of the treasure of relationships.

Very often we commit the same mistake. We chase our money goals. We fall in love with a position and will do anything to retain it. We hanger after things and possessions, ignoring people who are important in our lives. We choose things over people. Our relationships suffer. Instead of recognizing goodness in people, we find goodness in things. Our children watch what we do and imitate what we do. For them also friends are less important to the things they value. Even people at home become second best. God loses His place in their lives. They chase dreams that are insubstantial. It is time our thinking changed and our example became edifying. Otherwise like Leo Tolstoy, we will have regrets and in our footsteps our children will lament the missed opportunities.

97) Teach children lessons - through example.

"You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips." Oliver Goldsmith

A welcoming party was assembled at the railway station for Dr Albert Schweitzer - Nobel Peace Prize winner in 1953, and missionary who spent his whole life among the poorest in Africa. As the train stopped a tall man stepped out of his compartment to cheers of those waiting. Senior officials shook his hands and the media feasted on the event. He thanked them warmly, but quickly excused himself to go across to an elderly black woman who was struggling with her bags to board the train. Dr Albert helped her with her bags and wished her a safe journey. Returning to the people gathered to greet him, he excused himself for keeping them waiting.

In the crowd, an admirer remarked: "That is the first time I ever saw a sermon walking".

As parents we ought to remember this story and the implication on the example we set our children. Our life, more than our lips will edify our children.

96) Teach children lessons - Anger Management

"If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow."
Chinese Proverb.

A few weeks ago I witnessed an incident that shocked me. Two little boys were standing in front of the candle stand at Church. One, about eight, was trying to touch the lighted candles. The other, about five, was trying to do what his brother did. The mother of the children rushes in and starts beating the older boy for playing with lighted candles and allowing his younger brother to do likewise. Shouting at the top of her voice, she berated the older boy in unkind words and continued to physically assault him. In shame and pain, the little boy cringed.

What example was the mother setting? Was her angry outburst a solution? Would she correct her child or harden him in his disobedient ways? Often our mindless words and actions result in the opposite effect we want to produce. Very often we scandalize our children through our irresponsible acts.

95) Teach children lessons - "How can I help?"

"Help your brother's boat across and lo! your own has reached the shore." Hindu Proverb

Sylvia Hill, with a degree in counseling and extensive managerial experience, shines shoes at the Boston Airport. Travelers get their shoes shined by her as she engages them in conversation. Some are touched by her warmth and her cheerful ways that they share their load of problems with her. Using her experience in counseling, she offers them a few tips. They get back to tell her that her suggestions helped. She said that she opted out of a Corporate career to reach out to people who are heavily burdened. "I didn't want to just come to the airport and shine shoes. I wanted to provide service to people, and wanted to make a difference."

Caught up in our own lives, we seldom ask the question: How can I help? When we are obsessed with our lives, our children will think and act likewise - shunning every opportunity to reach out to others. It is time we made a difference to others, to our children and to ourselves.

94) Teach children lessons - Forbearance

"If you suffer from a bad man's injustice, forgive him lest there be two bad men."
Saint Augustine.

The papers report crimes of different kinds - deception and cheating, molestation and rape, thefts and robberies, stabbings and shootings; the list is endless. The vile acts shock us and we are quick to condemn both the crime and the criminal. But have to stopped to consider that we are no less guilty?

We desire another man's wealth and scheme how to steal it from him. We lust beautiful women and women crave for virile men. We plot the downfall and death of those who harm us. The only difference is that we commit the crimes in our minds, others carry out their nefarious plots. We stop with the plan and fear to carry it out because of consequences. The truth is that we are partners in crime with those convicted. We are the shadow criminals.

We are watched by our children who are quick to pounce on those who err - sibling, classmate, teacher. They condemn others although they are guilty of the same faults. Unless they learn from us to forbear the wrongs of others, they will be held down by their double standards - viewing their own faults leniently and being merciless in pulling down others. Only forbearance will give them a balanced view.

93) Teach children lessons - value life

"It is great to be alive", was a sign at the entrance to San Fransisco many many decades ago, when the town had a population of only 500 people but many thousand graves.

During the Second World War ll a Dutch Jew who was a Jeweler was held captive in a Nazi concentration camp. Hidden in a safe place was some gold that he managed to smuggle into the camp. He hoped that he could use it when he was free again. The rations in the camp were meager and he was hungry for most of the time. He knew he could not take it longer, so he decided to trade his gold for food. With the guard he bargained. After much time and many words the guard gave him two dried potatoes for his gold. But the Jeweler accepted the potatoes because he valued his life more than the gold. He wanted to live to be free again.

Viktor Frankl a psychiatrist who was also a prisoner in a concentration camp made an important finding after much observation and study: prisoners who had a reason to live outlived those who gave up hope; who did not have a reason to live.

Do we have a good reason to live? Not just the reason of amassing wealth? Can we honestly say that we live purposeful lives, because we value the life we have? Do we teach our children to value the life God has given them? From us they will learn if we believe that "it is great to be alive" - to live purposeful lives, for ourselves and for others.

92) Teach children lessons - Giving credit where due

"Prophets are not without honor except in their own country and in their own house."
Matt.13:57.

When Jesus walked this earth 2000 years ago, a section of people did not give him credit for the wondrous deeds he performed. That prompted him to say that a prophet like him was not recognized in his hometown. His detractors stopped at not giving him credit.

We go further. Not only do we not give credit where it is due, but also steal credit from those who should have it. Seeing us blatantly flout decency, our children act likewise. They take credit for acts not performed by them - like taking credit for homework and projects completed by parents or older siblings, taking credit for answers provided by others to difficult questions, winning games by cheating. Unless we check this habit as it starts, they can become crafty manipulators. But before we attempt to change them, we need to change ourselves.

91) Teach Children Lessons - Imitation

"The proof of love is imitation." Saint Augustine.

Responding to a question on who his role models were, Jason Araghi founder of Araghi's Green Bean Coffee Worldcafe Company said: "My parents. They are my heroes.Their story is about being good role models." Immigrants from Iran to the USA during the revolution which saw the fall of the Shah, they had to face very hard times. Right through those tough days his parents lived in dignity, teaching him to be a good human being. Those lessons are indelibly printed in his mind.

He chose to set up his parents whom he loved dearly as his role models and decided to imitate them. That is what love does.

How do we score? Do our children love us enough to make us role models? If not, why?

90) Teach children lessons - Integrity

"No legacy is so rich as honesty." Shakespeare

The great wall of China is a gigantic structure which cost much money and took much labor to construct. It looked impregnable when finished. But the enemy breached it, not by tearing it down or digging a tunnel under it, but by bribing the gatekeepers. Nothing is safe where there is corruption; where integrity is missing. Our children are not safe in a home where honesty is compromised.

We are blind to our faults, but will notice and accuse others of the slightest weakness. We shut our eyes to the many half truths that occupy our lives, because deep down we are corrupt, without wanting to acknowledge our guilt. In such a situation, what happens to our children? They see how we live our double standards - preaching honesty but practicing dishonesty in our personal and professional lives. What will our children choose to do? What is convenient; what brings them material gains. So, they too make compromises. They too become corrupt like us.

We hope to leave our children a legacy of riches. Why not try leaving them a legacy of honesty?

89) Teach Children lessons - growing in faith

"Faith is not a leap in the dark; it is a leap out of darkness into light." David Reed.

The passengers on a train were uneasy as they sped along through the dark stormy night. Lightning flashed and the clap of thunder was terrifying as black clouds rolled in, threatening heavier rains. The view through the windows was scary, to say the least. Fear and tension among the travelers was evident, as the train gained speed and rushed over wet tracks.

One little fellow sat alone engrossed in play, with a few toys that surrounded him - unaware and unafraid of the storm and dangers that could beset the travelers. Watching him intently, an elderly lady asked him: "Son, I see that you are alone on the train. Aren't you afraid to travel alone on such a stormy night?" The little boy looked up and gave the lady an angelic smile; then he confidently replied: "No ma'am, I am not afraid. My daddy is the engineer(train driver)."

The innocent faith of a child in his father!

As parents, how we long for implicit trust of our children! We rejoice in such faith. What is unfortunate is that the flame of faith that once burnt bright dims, and we are dismayed. What did we do to deserve the change? Why have our children lost the trusting faith they once had in us? We need to find some answers if our parenting efforts are to get back on track, like the speeding train. Our parenting cannot be derailed for want of trust!

88) Teach children lessons - Helping adversaries

"It is a pleasant thought that when you help a fellow up a steep hill, you get nearer to the top yourself." - Reynolds Price.

Some days ago the newspapers reported on a ravaging fire in Israel that claimed 41 precious lives and scorched acres of land. Firefighters and the people of the area braved the flames to stop more damage. The best part of the team effort was the joining of Palestinians in the firefighting. Setting aside age-old rivalry and rancor, they offered to help their adversaries. What a beautiful act! What a wonderful way of expressing oneness in the face of danger! Do we see a window for peace in the monstrous wall that separates them? We hope that out of some evil, much good will come.

We are reminded of the parable Jesus told - The Good Samaritan. The priest and the Levite, walked past the wounded man. Supposedly, they had their reasons. Along comes a Samaritan, whom the Jews despised. He stops to succor the wounded man. He does not shun him. Instead, he sees a fellow in distress and willingly helps. Are we seeing the parable in action, 2000 years after Jesus narrated it? In their rescue effort are the Palestinians giving us a sign of hope? Is a candle being lit which can light other candles?

Often we are caught up in a war with our adversaries. We malign them; plot their downfall; and delight in their misfortunes. We believe that we have scored a point.
Watching us perform our children learn to gloat over the failings of those who oppose them; speak ill of them; and in their own way scheme to put down those who were friends till yesterday, but have fallen out today. What a tragic commentary to our parenting efforts!

When people in Israel and Palestine can light a candle, will we join them in lighting candles in our own homes?

In this season of goodwill we wish you a blessed and peace-filled Christmas and a hope-filled New Year.

87) Teach children lessons - winning by fair means

"We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat. They do not exist."
Queen Victoria (1819-1901).

Did Queen Victoria repeat one of Alexander's axioms? We do not know. What we do know is that Alexander ruled out the option of losing. Here is how he demonstrated his winning-belief. His Generals had failed , after repeated attempts, to capture a rather elusive territory. So he decided to lead them on their last charge. As the soldiers sailed to their target, they spotted a large number of enemy ships anchored at port. The large number of ships suggested that the opposition would be formidable. Fearing defeat, his soldiers pleaded with Alexander that they return home. He would have none of it. They disembarked at a secluded spot on the enemy shore. Then looking at the boats that they had just pushed under cover, Alexander ordered the soldiers to burn them. They were stunned. How would they go back? But no one dared disobey Alexander. In dismay and fear they burnt the boats. Looking into their faces drained of hope, Alexander promised them that they would return home in the enemy ships. To do that, they would have to fight for their lives to capture both ships and territory. They fought with unusual valor and won, to go back in the enemy ships.

We cannot but admire the winning attitude in Alexander. Some of us have the same drive. To win always. Winning is good if the means are fair. But winning at all costs casts doubts on our motives. Bending rules and compromising on ethics does our reputation no good. When we win unfairly, then winning is losing. The tragic part is that our children watch us scheme and plot the downfall of others, that they begin to adopt our ways. They will lie and not feel ashamed; cheat and not feel guilty; tread on other toes and shrug the incident away; and gloat. Unless we teach them to play fair they will celebrate pyrrhic victories and hollow triumphs.

86) Teach children lessons - Giving unselfishly

"If you give because it pays, it won't pay you." R. G. LeTourneau.

A poor family of six, parents and four children, were eagerly awaiting the arrival of a popular Circus Troupe in town. To give his family a treat the man saved coins over weeks to have enough for the tickets. After much waiting and great expectations they queued at the ticket counter. As it opened and the ticket prices were put up the man was aghast - after all that saving he was still short of cash for six tickets; even for the lowest class. He told his wife that he and she could wait outside the circus tent as the children watched the show. But the children would have none of it - they all went in or no one went in. Suddenly their spirits matched their faded clothes and footwear which was giving way in places. They decided to walk away from the queue. A man standing behind them in the queue heard their conversation. Without a word he dropped some money at the foot of the father, who was preparing to leave, and walked into the crowd - a nameless benefactor. The father saw the money, saw the man drop it at his feet, but had no chance to thank the giver. Excitedly they watched the show, but the man's heart went back again and again to the generous giver who would not wait to be thanked.

Many of us give, but want it to be a photo opportunity; a chance for a press report;
an occasion when others praise us for our generosity; a way of claiming a tax benefit. We expect some form of recompense. Jesus was decisive when he said: "But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing". Matt. 6:3. He continued that charity is rewarded by God, not man. Therefore, trumpets are not necessary. In the story we just read the man who dropped the money at the father's feet did not want even the rest of the family to know that someone else was paying for their tickets. He did not want the head of the family to lose face.

It is time we examined our motives when we give. It is time we taught our children to give without expecting thanks and praise. To know that the act of giving in itself is the reward. It also applies to non-money acts of kindness.

85) Teach children lessons - Accepting Responsibility

"People need responsibility. They resist assuming it, but they can't get along without it." John Steinbeck.

On November 4, between 1 and 2 AM, Singapore time, we watched President Obama's press conference, after the mid-term election results were announced. His Party had suffered a battering in the House of Representatives and just managed to hang on to a slender lead in the Senate. It was not a good time to face the press. Yet, with composure and dignity, he fielded questions (some tricky ones also), to give Americans and the World an answer they were looking for - the future would be better than the past.

What struck us during the one hour press meet, was his courage and humility to accept responsibility for the current state of affairs. He did not offer excuses; did not look for scapegoats; and did not pass the buck. Instead, the man that he is, he took the assaults on his chin, held himself responsible for what went wrong and promised to work harder to deliver better results. In the words of R. L. Stevenson, "he was like a clock in a thunderstorm" - ticking away despite the storm raging around him.

When things go wrong how do we react? Get into the blame-game? Look for excuses? Nail others? When we play such games, our children will learn to excel in them. If they score well in a test, proudly they take credit. But if they do badly it is the teacher to blame - she set a tough question paper; she did not teach well; she was not fair in evaluation. When will the blame-game stop? Only when we choose to end it - like President Obama. Growth in our children will begin only when they stop blaming others.

84) Teach children lessons - Conviction

"A man is a saint when he stands for his convictions." Peter Marshall.

One evening, a young Traffic Cop pulled up a vehicle for a traffic offense. The driver stepped out of the vehicle and introduced himself as a Senior Police Official. He expected the young Cop to salute him and let him go. Instead, the young man wrote out a ticket and gave it to the stunned Officer with the words: "Sir, you should be proud that you have an honest Cop on the Force".

What would we have done in that situation? What do we teach our children to do in such situations. The easy way out is to flow with the tide. To make compromises. To do what keeps us out of trouble, even if it means doing something wrong. Do our children stand up for what they believe in? They will do it, if we do it. When conviction leads the way courage is close behind.

83) Teach children lessons - Excellence.

"Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well." Philip Chesterfield.

Over the past few weeks we have had only bad news from the Commonwealth Games, being conducted in India. Incompetent, irresponsible, chaotic and many more harsh expressions have been used by people to describe conditions at the games venue. Those in charge of the games have been put to the sword.

Why did this happen? Funds, despite the corruption, were available in plenty. Skill and Intelligence were not in short supply. What then was the problem? Put simply, it is the CHALTHA HAI attitude of the average Indian, which means, in English, compromises are okay. Delays are okay. Poor quality is okay. Lower standards are okay.

As an Indian, I am embarrassed to admit that it is true. Unfortunately, the average child grows up making compromises - at home, in school and among friends. Later, in adult life, the attitude does not change, because we as parents do not change. Ours is a compromised way of life.

We have a grave responsibility to save our children from such a negative attitude that can bring upon them nothing but disaster. We shall have to begin with ourselves. Only then can we convincingly persuade our children to follow the path of excellence, not compromise.

"God does not want us to do extraordinary things. He wants us to do ordinary things extraordinarily well." Charles Gore.

82) Teach children lessons using stories - Is There Love ?

"Love cures people - both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it."
Karl Menninger

A prison in Brazil ran a special project. Instead of treating prisoners harshly and violently, they decided on treating them with kindness and concern. At first the prisoners were suspicious, because no one had treated them well before. But the jail authorities continued undeterred in their attempts to reach out to the prisoners and treat them with some dignity. In time, the inmates realized that it was for real and dropped their guard to return smiles with smiles; kindness with kindness. As the project reached an advanced stage, the Warden decided to entrust prison security to a prisoner who was serving a life sentence. Everyone was shocked. But the Warden had faith in the prisoner and in his project. The prisoner faithfully carried out his responsibilities. When the media heard of this unusual experiment, they queried the
prisoner: Now that you are in charge of security and serving a life sentence, why don't you run away? The prisoner replied promptly: Who can run away from love?

Parents need to ask themselves the same question: Who can run away from love? We read and hear of children running away from home. Some who want to do it, but do not dare to carry out their plans, stay back, unhappy at the way things are. Children are quick to see through the motions that parents go through in their parenting. They recognize the ones burning with love from the ones who do not make serious attempts to master parenting. And they are confounded. It is not that there are perfect parents; but there are parents who try to be perfect and those who do not try enough. And when children find that love is wanting, they want to go where love will be plentiful - perhaps outside the home, they believe. It is up to us to fill the void that children feel.

81) Teach children lessons using stories- Purpose vs Problems

"If you take care of the things that are dear to God, He will take care of the things that are dear to you." Howard Taylor


In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren , Rick said:
People ask me, What is the purpose of life?
And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense. Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness. This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for..

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems:

If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centredness, which is my problem, my issues, my pain. But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her- It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.

It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease..

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit.. We made no major purchases.

Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.

Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.

Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?

Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.

That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.

Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.

Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.

Painful moments, TRUST GOD.

Every moment, THANK GOD.

That is Rick Warren's approach to life. What is ours? How do our children see life? To them is it a mad rat race of making money and acquiring things? Do they have time and thought for God and others in their life? Isn't it time we pondered and we got our children to think?

80) Teach children lessons using stories- Happiness IS an Inside Job

"Very little is needed to make life happy. It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking." Marcus Aurelius.

A blind 92 year old woman entered an old age home, after her husband of 70 years died. The attendant at the home tried to explain to the woman about the room she would occupy. She thrilled at the idea; was almost euphoric. The puzzled attendant asked her:"You have not been to the room yet. How can you rejoice?" The Woman replied: "Happiness is something you decide. Every morning I decide to be happy with what I have and not be unhappy with what I don't have, because each day is a gift. I have also many happy memories, which I try to relive. So, young man keep depositing in your memory bank. You will never be short of happiness."

What a special woman! It is great that in a deary world we still have happy people to give us a reason to be hopeful. Are we happy; do we spread happiness? Do our children learn to be happy by seeing us happy? Or, are they weighed down with cares, because that is the way we see life - care-filled, anxious and depressed? Do we teach our children that every cloud has a silver lining; that dawn follows the dark night; that a crisis is the test of character; that there many others who are worse off; that there are many happy memories to relive; that each day is a gift from God to be thankfully accepted and made happy with happy thoughts. As Marcus Aurelius puts it: it is in our way of thinking. When we change our way of thinking, we change the way we look at life. Then happiness is just a thought away.

79) Teach children lessons using stories- Sharing

"People who live for self never succeed in satisfying self or anybody else" Trumbull.

A farmer who grew superior corn and won prizes at State Fairs for the quality of his produce, shared seeds with his neighbors. Asked why he did something that would create competition, he said: "Didn't you know that the wind picks up pollen grains from ripening corn and swirls it around from field to field. If my neighbor grew inferior corn, through cross-pollination my corn will get badly affected, in time. If I grow good corn, my neighbor should also grow good corn. That way, we help one another. Mine is superior because of the extra effort I put in."

The farmer acted contrary to today's dictum of self above all else. He showed the wisdom in sharing; in including others in his scheme of things.

From us do our children learn the wisdom in sharing? Do they understand the folly in promoting self over others? That sorrows are halved and joys doubled, when shared?
That we should treat others as we would want to be treated? If they have not learned from us, where else will they gain such wisdom? It is time we pondered this key area in parenting.

78) Teach children lessons using stories- It's all in the Attitude

"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." Clement Stone.

A little girl, walking on the seashore, was tossing stranded star fish back into the sea. An old man who watched her said: "There are thousands of them. You can't put all of them back into the sea. What difference does it make by throwing in a few?" The little girl heard him. Without stopping what she was doing she said: "It does, to this one", as she tossed one more star fish into the sea.

Very often we are like the old man, cynical of small acts; wanting instead to do great things. Mother Teresa ends this argument with words: We cannot do great things; 'only small things with great love'. We cannot change the way the world transacts; we can only change ourselves and a few whom we can influence. In turn, those we influence will impact a few more. That is the sphere of influence that we can get into. We all cannot become CEOs; but can do excellently what we are called to do. Our children may not become school pupil leaders; but they can join the leader in doing well what is expected of them. All of them may not have the talents other children have; but they can perform creditably in the area they are blessed with. The positive attitude of doing their best, even in the smallest task makes a big difference.

77) Teach children lessons using stories - Judge Not

"Do not judge, so that you may not be judged."

Matt 7:1
I was shocked, confused, bewildered

As I entered Heaven's door,

Not by the beauty of it all,

Nor the lights or its decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven

Who made me sputter and gasp--

The thieves, the liars, the sinners,

The alcoholics and the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade

Who swiped my lunch money twice.

Next to him was my old neighbor

Who never said anything nice.

Herb, who I always thought

Was rotting away in hell,

Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,

Looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, "What's the deal?

I would love to hear Your take.

How did all these sinners get up here?

God must have made a mistake.

And why's everyone so quiet,

So somber - give me a clue."

"Hush, child," He said, "they're all in shock.

No one thought they'd be seeing you."

JUDGE NOT.

Remember...Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian

any more than standing in your garage makes you a car .

Every saint has a PAST...

Every sinner has a FUTURE (Message taken from the internet.)

If only we stopped to think we would be shocked at the number of times in a day we judge others without the slightest qualm. We character assassinate even those who are close to us. The children hear us do this day after day. What example are we setting them? What do we expect them to learn from our words and actions? How can we be shocked when we hear them blame, fault, accuse, bad-mouth those they know? It is time we gave the admonition: "Judge not" serious thought, for the sake of our children.

76) Teach children lessons using stories - Closed Doors ? New Paths.

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." Theodore Roosevelt.

Closed Doors

We need to learn to praise the Lord as much for a closed door as we do an open door. The reason God closes doors is because He has not prepared anything over there for us. If he didn't close the wrong door, we would never find the right door.

God directs our path through the closing and opening of doors. Once a door closes, it forces you to change your course. Another door closes, it forces you to change your course again. Then, finally, you find the open door and you walk right into your blessings.

The Lord directs our paths through the opening and closing of doors, but instead of praising him for the closed door (which keeps us out of trouble); we get upset because we "judge by the appearances. "

You have an ever-present help in the time of trouble that is always standing guard. Because He walks ahead of you, He can spot trouble down the road and set up a roadblock or detour accordingly. But through our lack of wisdom, we try to tear down the roadblocks or push aside the detour sign. Then the minute we get into trouble, we start crying, "Lord, how could You have done this to me?"

We have got to realize that the closed door can be a blessing. Didn't He say that no good thing would He withhold from them that love Him?

If you get terminated from your job, praise God for the new opportunities that will manifest themselves: it might be another job, it might be school.

If that man or woman won't return your call, it might not be them, it might be the Lord setting up a roadblock (just let it go).

We can sometimes trap ourselves in doubt and discouragement through judging by appearances. Be grateful for the many times our Father has closed doors to us just to open them in the most unexpected places.

The Lord won't always say in spoken words: "Go to the left, now to the right" ... sometimes He will just close the doors that are wrong for you.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

What do we do when we face adversity? Grumble? Curse God? Blame others? Or stop to think? Is there a shaft of light coming through that closed door? Is there hope where none can be seen? Is it a test of our maturity? If we panic, our children will do the same. If we throw up our hands in despair, our children will do likewise. So, each time we are faced with a problem , we have to think of what lesson we are teaching the children. We just cannot act on impulse. The advice that Roosevelt gives us at the top of this post, is well worth pondering.

75) Teach children lessons using stories- P.U.S.H

"If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it would obey you" Luke 17:6

A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light and God appeared. The Lord told the man He had work for him to do and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin.

The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might. So, this the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all of his might.

Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain. Since the man was showing discouragement, the Adversary (Satan), decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the weary mind:

"You have been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn't moved." Thus, he gave the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure. These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man. Satan said, "Why kill yourself over this? Just put in your time, giving just the minimum effort, and that will be good enough. That's what the weary man planned to do, but decided to make it a matter of prayer and to take his troubled thoughts to the Lord. "Lord," he said, "I have labored long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?" the Lord responded compassionately, "My friend, when I asked you to serve Me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all of your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to Me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. Is that really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewy and brown; your hands are calloused from constant pressure, your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much, and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. True, you haven't moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. That you have done. Now I, my friend, will move the rock." At times, when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own intellect to decipher what He wants, when actually what God wants is just a simple obedience and faith in Him. By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains, but know that it is still God who moves mountains. When everything seems to go wrong...just

P.U.S.H.! When the job gets you down... just P.U. S.H.! When people don't react the way you think they should... just P.U.S.H. When your money is "gone" and the bills are due... just P.U.S.H! When people just don't understand you... just P.U.S.H.

P= Pray

U= Until

S= Something

H= Happens

There are many stories told on faith and perseverance, but this one is special. God takes time to explain things to the man who is discouraged. And what a lesson He teaches! As we learn to persevere in faith, let our children learn from us. There will be many times when we and our children will be tested.

74) Teach children lessons using stories - A Child's Love

"Children are the only earthly possessions we can take with us to heaven."
Robert C. Savage

Bailey's Jesus

God recently allowed me to see Jesus through the eyes of someone seeing Him for the first time. Having the advantage of knowing how the story ends, we can easily forget the cost of our redemption and the love of our Savior.

Every year we attend a local church pageant at Christmas time, which tells the story of Jesus from His birth through His resurrection. It is a spectacular event, with live animals and hundreds of cast members in realistic costumes. The magi enter the huge auditorium on llamas from the rear, descending the steps in pomp and majesty. Roman soldiers look huge and menacing in their costumes and makeup.

Of all the years we have attended, one stands out indelibly in my heart. It was the year we took our then three-year-old granddaughter, Bailey, who loves Jesus. She was mesmerized throughout the entire play, not just watching, but involved as if she were a player. She watches as Joseph and Mary travel to the Inn and is thrilled when she sees the baby Jesus in His mother's arms. When Jesus, on a young donkey, descends the steps from the back of the auditorium, depicting His triumphal entry into Jerusalem , Bailey was ecstatic. As he neared our aisle, Bailey began jumping up and down, screaming, "Jesus, Jesus! There's Jesus!" Not just saying the words but exclaiming them with every fiber of her being. She alternated between screaming his name and hugging us. "It's Jesus. Look!" I thought she might actually pass out. Tears filled my eyes as I looked at Jesus through the eyes of a child in love with Him, seeing Him for the first time. How like the blind beggar screaming out in reckless abandon, "Jesus, Jesus!", afraid he might miss Him, not caring what others thought(Mark 10:46-52). This was so much fun.

Then came the arrest scene. On stage, the soldiers shoved and slapped Jesus as they moved Him from the Garden of Gethsemane to Pilate. Bailey responded as if she were in the crowd of women, with terror and anger. "Stop it!" she screamed. "Bad soldiers, stop it!" As I watched her reaction, I wished we had talked to her before the play. "Bailey it's OK. They are just pretending.""They are hurting Jesus! Stop it!" She stood in her seat reacting to each and every move. People around us at first smiled at her reaction, thinking "How cute!". Then they quit smiling and began watching her watch Him. In a most powerful scene, the soldiers lead Jesus carrying the cross down the steps of the auditorium from the back They were yelling, whipping, and cursing at Jesus, who was bloodied and beaten. Bailey was now hysterical. "Stop it! Soldiers! Stop it," she screamed. She must have been wondering why all these people did nothing. She then began to cry instead of scream. "Jesus, Oh, Jesus!" People all around us began to weep as we all watch this devoted little disciple see her Jesus beaten and killed as those first century disciples had.
Going back and forth between her mother's lap and mine for comfort, she was distraught. I kept saying, "Bailey, it's OK. Jesus is going to be OK. These are just people pretending to be soldiers". She looked at me like I was crazy. In my lap, we talked through the cross and burial. "Watch, Bailey, watch for Jesus!"

The tomb began to tremble and lightening flashed as the stone rolled away. A Super Bowl touchdown cheer couldn't come close to matching this little one's reaction to the resurrection. "Jesus! He's OK. Mommy, it's Jesus!" I prayed that she wasn't going to be traumatized by this event, but that she would remember it. I shall never forget it. I shall never forget seeing Jesus' suffering, crucifixion, and resurrection through the eyes of an innocent child.

Following the pageant the actors all assembled in the foyer to be greeted by the audience. As we passed by some of the soldiers Bailey screamed out, "Bad soldier, don't you hurt Jesus." The actor who portrayed Jesus was some distance away surrounded by well-wishers and friends. Bailey broke away from us and ran toward him, wrapping herself around his legs, holding on for dear life. He hugged her and said, "Jesus loves you." He patted her to go away. She wouldn't let go. She kept clinging to Him, laughing and calling His name. She wasn't about to let go of her Jesus.

I think God in heaven stopped what ever was going on that day and made all the angels watch Bailey. "Now, look there! You see what I meant when I said, 'Of such is the kingdom of heaven?'"

Bailey's reaction should be our reaction every day. When we think of Him, who He is, what He did for us, and what He offers us, we have to say, how can we do anything less than worship Him?
(This is not my story, but the story told by Bailey's grandfather.)

What can I add to such a story? I only wish our children would see the Lord the way little Bailey did!

73) Teach children lessons using stories - A debt too big to repay

"My mother was a saintly woman. I owe everything to her." Lyndon B. Johnson

Recently, one of the Dailies reproduced the story of a young man and his mother. Here is an adapted version of the story, as told by the son.

My mom who had only one eye, cooked for students and teachers to support the family. I hated her because she was such an embarrassment to me when my classmates laughed at her one eye. One day, I was so angry that I shouted at her: "If you are going to make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die?" My mom did not say a word. I was oblivious of her feelings. I just wanted her out of my life. When I got old enough I left home for Singapore. Later, I married, bought my own home and had kids. I was happy with my life.

One morning, without notice, my mother appeared at my door. Until then she had kept away, although she had not seen me for many years and had not met her grandchildren. As she stood at the door, my children laughed at her and I yelled at her for coming to my home, uninvited. She left quietly.

Sometime later, I attended the School Reunion at my home town. After that, out of curiosity, I went to the old shack, which used to be my childhood home. The neighbors told me that my mother died a few days ago. I did not shed a tear until they gave me a letter, addressed to me, that she had left with them. The letter read:

"My dearest son,
I think of you all the time. I'm sorry I came to Singapore and scared your children. I was so glad when I heard that you were coming for the School Reunion. But I may not be able to get off my bed to meet you.
I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up. You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident and lost an eye. As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with one eye. So, I gave you mine. I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, with that eye.
With much love, Your Mother.

Once we have told our children this story and made sure that they have understood what it really meant, we could ask them a few questions, to get their thoughts on the story.
1) Did the mother do right by donating her eye to her son?
2) Should she have told her son about her sacrifice?
3) Even when her son scolded her, she did not speak up. Was that right?
4) Do they know of any children who treat their parents badly?
5) What do they think of such children?
6) With this story, would they find the courage to speak to children who disrespect
their parents?

72 ) Teach children lessons using stories - Reaching Out

"Taught by time, my heart has learned to glow,
For others' good and weep at others' woe." Homer.

In a letter to the Editor, The Straits Times, Singapore, an Australian doctor recounts his experience.
"Flying from New Delhi to Singapore, a fellow passenger relieved me of all my money and my iPod, in the confusion of disembarkation. This letter is to thank those people who helped a complete stranger that day.
1) The young employee of Singapore Airlines who drew money from his personal account so that I could catch a taxi to the Australian High Commission.
2) The couple renewing their passports in the Consular Office, who gave me what little cash they had.
3) Finally, the family who took me home, gave me lunch and dinner, took me sight-seeing, allowed me to shower, and never asked for anything in return.
Dr Shawn Jessep."

The letter tugs at our heart strings. In a world enveloped in dark selfishness, a few lights of selflessness still burn. It only goes to prove that there is goodness in people.

The story begs a question: What would we have done if Dr Shawn Jessep told us of his dire predicament? Would we have politely nodded and walked away, or acted the way some of his benefactors did? The question is not easily answered. The answer would depend on our attitude to strangers. Are we wary of strangers? Or, are we willing to concede that all strangers are not con men? How do we tell the difference between the genuine and false? Very difficult. But a thought is worth considering: Suppose we were in the position of the doctor, would we expect people to help us?

It is the same dilemma for our children. We warn them to be watchful of adult strangers. Sadly, they extend the warning to cover children they do not know. Instead of being silk, they are sandpaper with children who are not in their circle; coarse and sometimes rude. Our unfriendly behavior with neighbors and acquaintances, from whom we do not expect to gain, is copied by our children. Don't we worry that our children will stand isolated one day?

71) Teach children lessons using stories - Learning Humility.

"Make me thy fuel, flame of God." Amy Carmichael.

Gertrude Mueller Nelson, in her book, Here all dwell free, writes of a woman who broke both her arms, tripping over a dog. The woman describes how miserable and humiliated she feels at being totally dependent on others: "Can you imagine what it feels like to need my husband and my daughter to put on all my clothes; to need my husband to wipe my bottom? This is total reduction. But the most important thing I learned was how to be still!"

Being self-reliant is good. But being cocky in our sense of independence can lead to needless grief. We imagine that we are young, healthy, wealthy and intellectually superior. We need nothing and nobody. We can manage very well on our own. Then it happens, as in the case of the woman in the story: an accident, prolonged illness, financial losses, failing memory and weakening faculties. We are brought down on our knees. Suddenly we become helpless. From independence, we sink to dependence. We feel the pain of a crushing blow to body and spirit. In bed we lie vanquished and rue our proud and defiant ways.

Do we stay vanquished or rise from a seeming disaster to accept help gratefully? Do we turn to God in humility and accept our vulnerability, weakness and brokenness? The longer we resent the predicament, the more we suffer. Like the woman in the story, do we learn to remain still and let God work His wonders through helping hands around us? With good reason Maywood sang: "What are we without a helping hand?"
It is time that we and our children learned that giving generously and accepting graciously are two sides of the same coin.

Our children could face problems in their young lives and need help, just when they believe that they are invincible. Being top of the class, having a fan-following on the field, blessed with looks to turn heads and a tongue that is praised by admirers, they could have the world at their feet. 'Special kid! Wonder kid!' could be chants that fill their ears. Suddenly things go wrong and the child is confined to bed and imprisoned in a room, at the mercy of others. Will the child cope, accepting support and sustenance from others? Much will depend on how we teach the child to cope, and not feed on self-pity and despair.

A school in Chicago that was under threat of closure, sported a banner which read:
"Lord don't move our mountain; just give us the strength to climb".

70 ) Teach children lessons using stories - Our True Selves

" For it is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks." Luke 6:45

The Preacher placed two identical jars on the table. Then he quoted a verse from Scripture: " The Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart " (1:Samuel 16:7). With that, he continued his demonstration. He explained that the jars were made at the same factory, were of the same material and held the same volume. Though identical, they were different because of what each held. To prove his point, he inverted the jars. Out of one flowed honey; out of the second flowed vinegar. Then he gave his audience the lesson. When the jars were upright, he said, they looked identical. Only when they were turned over (upset), did we know what was in each. He went on to draw an inference. It is the same with us, he deduced. When everything goes to our liking, we are on our best behaviour. We stand upright. But when things go wrong, when we are 'upset', what is in us comes out. Then our sophisticated or apparently calm exterior is convulsed. We become angry and violent. That is when our true selves are exposed. The masks fall off.

How do our children behave when they are 'upset'? It would largely depend on how we behave in similar situations. Surely, they learn from us. Does the honey of patience and forgiveness flow out, or the vinegar of anger and sour words? Is the Lord happy with what He sees?

To change our children for the better, we have to change ourselves first.

69 ) Teach children lessons using stories- Turning the other cheek

"But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also." Matt.5:39

Apartheid in South Africa was a blot on human history. Crime bred crime, like rats multiplying in a sewerage. In the name of racial superiority, the whites unleashed a reign of terror to oppress the blacks and crush any attempt they made to gain even a semblance of freedom. The blacks reeked revenge, but found small opportunity to carry out their plots for fear of harsh reprisals. In those times, only hate flowed like pus from a lanced boil; and the stench was nauseating. But a black woman, acting differently, showed that the flow of hate could be stemmed.

She and her two young children were walking down a street when a white man, who was walking passed the three, stopped and spat at her. Wiping her face, and with no trace of hate in her tone, she said: "Thank you, Sir. Now for the children". Hearing her totally unexpected response, the white man stood motionless and nonplussed. He did not know how to react to a woman who did not return an insult for an insult.

Do our children trade insults? Or, are they taught to be compassionate and forgiving? If they return insult for insult, they are no better than the one who started the quarrel; in no way superior to the child who is not trained well at home.
On the contrary, if they are taught to return kindness when unkindness is shown to them, they will be teaching other children silent lessons that they missed in their homes. The nonplussed ones will secretly admire our courageous children who refuse to go the tit-for-tat way.

68) Teach children lessons using stories - Sowing Seeds

"You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you." John Wooden

The Pakistani Taxi Driver who was featured in the last post, will not go away without telling our children one more story and teaching them one more lesson.

As he drove down a street, he noticed a homeless man on the kerb. The taxi driver invited the man into his cab and drove him to a wholesale street, where he bought him a case of umbrellas for $20. He told the man to sell the umbrellas at $5 each, as he let him get off the cab. That afternoon it rained heavily and the man sold all the umbrellas in the case. When he met the taxi driver after a few days, he tried to return $20 to him. But the taxi driver would not accept the money. Instead, he urged the man to trade in other goods and make some money."If I take the money back, you will go back to your old ways. If you owe me money, you will continue to work", he reasoned; and added in jest: "You may pay me back in the next world".

Some men teach without the vehemence of righteousness, without the strife of arguments and without the skill of preachers. They perform quietly and move on. The taxi driver belongs to that tribe. We can only pray that his tribe increase and that our children are wise enough to learn from people like him.

"---for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me----" Matt.25:35-36

67 ) Teach Children Lessons Using Stories - Through Eyes of compassion

"Change your thoughts and you change your world." Norman Vincent Peale

A man entered the cab of a Pakistani taxi driver in the USA, posing as a passenger. In moments he pointed a gun at the taxi driver and in a snarl demanded all the money he had. Turning his eyes away from the road, the taxi driver looked at the man and in a compassionate voice replied: "Here, take all my money. You must need it more than I do. I have a cab and can make money. But you can't. So, take it". The man grabbed the money. Then, looking bewildered, he hit his head three times with the gun and incoherently muttered: "You wake me up, man. You wake me up". For a while he sat thinking, as the taxi driver continued to drive. Repeatedly nodding his head, he shoved the gun into his pocket, threw the money on the seat and got out of the cab at the next red traffic signal. He took nothing.

What lessons should our children learn from this story?
1) That some angry and violent people wilt in the warmth of compassion. Perhaps the man with the gun succeeded in relieving other taxi drivers of their money, through angry threats and violence. But here was one who was unafraid of a gun because he was armed with compassion. He saw the plight of a desperate man who used violent ways to pluck money out of timid hands. He chose to respond differently. His readiness to give all he had, and the way he rationalized his action confused and troubled the gunman. Never before had this man come face to face with Compassion. He was felled by a feather. He could not take money from one who did not resist; one who yielded willingly; one who put the other man's need above his own.
2) That such heroic acts stir even hardened criminals. Such acts help change the way these criminals think. "You wake me up", were the words of a man who once had good thoughts. Now those good thoughts slumbered. The taxi driver's good deed roused those drowsy good thoughts and he responded in a changed way. Our children should know that no one is lost. That no one should be put out of reach of their compassion. That a turn around could be just a corner away.

"I say to you, love your enemies." Matt.5:44.

66) Do our children pray with faith?

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6.

Helen Roseveare, a doctor from England, working in Zaire among the poor and destitute reports:

"One night I had worked hard to help a mother in the labor ward; but, in spite of all we could do, she died leaving us with a tiny premature baby and a crying two-year-old daughter. We would have difficulty keeping the baby alive, as we had no incubator. (We had no electricity to run an incubator.) We also had no special feeding facilities. Although we lived on the equator, nights were often chilly with treacherous drafts. One student midwife went for the box we had for such babies and the cotton wool the baby would be wrapped in. Another went to stoke up the fire and fill a hot water bottle. She came back shortly, in distress, to tell me that in filling the bottle, it had burst. Rubber perishes easily in tropical climates. "And it is our last hot water bottle!" she exclaimed. As in the West it is no good crying over spilled milk, so in Central Africa it might be considered no good crying over burst water bottles. They do not grow on trees, and there are no drugstores down forest pathways. "All right," I said, "put the baby as near the fire as you safely can, and sleep between the baby and the door to keep it free from drafts. "Your job is to keep the baby warm." The following noon, as I did most days, I went to have prayers with any of the orphanage children who chose to gather with me. I gave the youngsters various suggestions of things to pray about and told them about the tiny baby.

I explained our problem about keeping the baby warm enough, mentioning the hot water bottle. The baby could so easily die if it got chills. I also told them of the two-year-old sister, crying because her mother had died. During the prayer time, one ten year-old girl, Ruth, prayed with the usual blunt conciseness of our African children. "Please, God," she prayed, "send us a water bottle. It'll be no good tomorrow,God, as the baby will be dead, so please send it this afternoon." While I gasped inwardly at the audacity of the prayer, she added by way of a corollary, "And while You are about it, would You please send a dolly for the little girl so she'll know You really love her?" As often with the prayers of children,I was put on the spot. Could I honestly say, "Amen?" I just did not believe that God could do this. Oh, yes, I know that He can do everything. The Bible says so. But there are limits, aren't there? The only way God could answer this particular prayer would be by sending me a parcel from the homeland.

I had been in Africa for almost four years at that time, and I had never, ever received a parcel from home. Anyway, if anyone did send me a parcel, who would put in a hot water bottle? I lived on the equator! Halfway through the afternoon, while I was teaching in the nurses' training school, a message was sent that there was a car at my front door. By the time I reached home, the car had gone, but there, at the front door was a large twenty-two pound parcel. I felt tears pricking my eyes. I could not open the parcel alone, so I sent for the orphanage children. Together we pulled off the string, carefully undoing each knot. We folded the paper, taking care not to tear it unduly. Excitement was mounting. Some thirty or forty pairs of eyes were focused on the large cardboard box. From the top, I lifted out brightly colored, knitted jerseys. Eyes sparkled as I gave them out. Then there were the knitted bandages for the leprosy patients, and the children looked a little bored. Then came a box of mixed raisins and sultanas - that would make a nice batch of buns for the weekend. Then,as I put my hand in again, I felt the.....could it really be? I grasped it and pulled it out - yes, a brand-new, rubber hot water bottle! I cried. I had not asked God to send it; I had not truly believed that He could. Ruth was in the front row of the children. She rushed forward, crying out, "If God has sent the bottle, He must have sent the dolly, too!" Rummaging down to the bottom of the box, she pulled out the small, beautifully dressed dolly. Her eyes shone! She had never doubted. Looking up at me, she asked: "Can I go over with you, Mummy, and give this dolly to that little girl, so she'll know that Jesus really loves her?" That parcel had been on the way for five whole months. Packed up by my former Sunday school class, whose leader had heard and obeyed God's prompting to send a hot water bottle, even to the equator. And one of the girls had put in a dolly for an African child - five months before, in answer to the believing prayer of a ten-year-old to bring it "that afternoon."

"Before they call, I will answer!" Isaiah 65:24" Our God really IS..AN AWESOME GOD.

Julia Cameron got it right when she wrote: "Leap and the net will appear".

65) Do our children make such sacrifices?

" Almost everything we do is insignificant. But it is very important that we do it."
Mahatma Gandhi.

"57 Cents That Made History"

A sobbing little girl stood near a small Church from which she had been turned away because it 'was too crowded'. "I can't go to Sunday School," she sobbed to the pastor as he walked by. Seeing her shabby, unkempt appearance, the pastor guessed the reason and, taking her by the hand, took her inside and found a place for her in the Sunday School class. The child was so touched that she went to bed that night thinking of the children who have no place to worship Jesus. Some two years later, this child lay dead in one of the poor tenement buildings and the parents called for the kind pastor, who had befriended their daughter, to handle the final arrangements. As her poor little body was being moved, a worn and crumpled purse was found which seemed to have been rummaged from some trash dump. Inside was found 57 cents and a note scribbled in childish handwriting which read, "This is to help build the little Church bigger so more children can go to Sunday school." For two years she had saved for this offering of love. When the pastor tearfully read that note, he knew instantly what he would do. Carrying this note and the cracked, red pocketbook to the pulpit, he told the story of her unselfish love and devotion. He challenged his deacons to get busy and raise enough money for the larger building.

But the story does not end there! A newspaper learned of the story and published it. It was read by a Realtor who offered them a parcel of land worth many thousands. When told that the Church could not pay so much, he offered it for a 57 cent payment. Church members made large subscriptions. Checks came from far and wide. Within five years the little girl's gift had increased to $250,000.00 a huge sum for that time (near the turn of the century).

Her unselfish love had paid large dividends. When you are in the city of Philadelphia , look up Temple Baptist Church , with a seating capacity of 3,300, and Temple University , where hundreds of students are trained. Have a look, too, at the Good Samaritan Hospital and at a Sunday School building which houses hundreds of Sunday scholars, so that no child in the area will ever need to be left outside at Sunday school time. In one of the rooms of this building may be seen the picture of the sweet face of the little girl whose 57 cents, so sacrificially saved, made such remarkable history. Alongside of it is a portrait of her kind pastor.

64) Vacation

For three months, I shall be out of town, on vacation. I shall resume posts on this blog when I return.
Before I sign out for now, let me wish visitors to the blog, a blessed and peace-filled Christmas and an eventful 2010. Have a great year! May your dreams come true!
And may your children bring you much joy!
God bless.

Ignatius Fernandez.

63) Unsung Heroes (3)

"It is a peg big enough on which to hang a hope, for every child born into this world, is an ever fresh and radiant possibility." Kate Douglas Wiggin

Some children light a fire by their deeds and let others bask in its warmth.

1) The Pastor and his eleven year old son made the rounds in their town, distributing Gospel Literature, every Sunday afternoon. One Sunday it was very cold and raining heavily - not the time to step out. But the boy was dressed and ready. The Pastor was reluctant, because of the bad weather. Eager to do what he did every Sunday, the boy begged his father to let him do the rounds alone. For two hours he roamed the streets distributing Gospel Tracts. Now he was completely wet and cold to the bone. With the streets deserted, he wondered to whom he would give the last copy. On an impulse, he decided to knock on the first door he saw. He knocked and rang the door bell. No one answered. Perhaps there was no one at home, he figured, and wanted to leave. Something told him to try again. He kept knocking the door and ringing the bell, until an old lady opened the door. He gave her the last Gospel Tract and a message that Jesus loved her.

The next Sunday, at Church, an old lady stood up to give testimony. She began by saying that she had not been to that Church before. Then she narrated her story. Her husband died leaving her all alone. She felt desperate and unwanted. There was much sadness in her heart. To put an end to it, she decided to put an end to her life. So, she went up to the attic, wanting to hang herself. That was when she heard the incessant knocking on the door and ringing of the door bell. She wondered who it could be, since no one visited her. Reluctantly, she came down to check. At the door she saw a sweet little boy with an angelic smile telling her that Jesus loved her. After he left, she read every word of the Gospel Tract, which the boy gave her. Slowly she made her way up to the attic and took down the rope she put up a few minutes ago, to hang herself. Now she would not need it. She decided to live because Jesus loved her; Jesus cared, she was sure. There was not a dry eye in the Church as the old lady completed her testimony. The Pastor's tears did not go unnoticed - he was holding his son in a tight embrace and weeping uncontrollably.
Some children become heroes, without wanting to be so.

2) Chen Gaonian, in China, was only 12 in 1984, when his mother was afflicted with Myelitis (inflammation of the spinal chord). Even with school and chores at home, he made time to care for his ailing mother. He has been doing that ever since she fell ill. Now, married, and father of a boy, he understands filial duties better. Living in the same town, but at a little distance from his mother's home, he visits her three times a week to give her massages and to comfort her in her pain. Doctors maintain, that it is the son's love and care that kept the mother in better health and alive, all these years. He was given the 'Star of Filial Piety and Respect for the Elderly' Award, by the Government in 2006. He prefers to remain unsung, caring for his beloved mother.

62) Unsung Heroes (2)

"If you follow the steps of your father, you learn to walk like him." West African Proverb

Fathers have stout hearts, which have to be broken sometimes to know what is inside. The short stories that follow let us peep into those hearts, through the broken pieces.

1) Alan Redpath, former Pastor of Moody Memorial Church, tells of the time when there was tension at home and hot words were exchanged. But as they sat at dinner, his father looked across at his wife and said: "I'm sorry I spoke to you the way I did. I'm ashamed of myself". The meal ended quietly. In the night, Alan knelt in prayer and begged God to make him the man his father was: "O God, I thank thee for a father like that. Make me more like him.

John Nicholson explains why fathers do the things they do: "The quality of a child's relationship with his or her father seems to be the most important influence in deciding how that person will react to the world". That could have been the reason Alan's father swallowed his pride before he swallowed his food, to apologize to his wife and set an example to his children. Only strong men apologize; and fathers have to be strong.

2) Rick was a born paraplegic. Once he told his father, Dick Hoyt, that he would like to participate in a 5 mile race. Promptly his father agreed. He made the boy sit in a wheelchair and pushed him the entire 5 miles. After that, Rick wished to take part in more races - the thrill had got to him. His father who was not an athlete, had to practise running and swimming for many hours to be fit for the races. In one race, the Ironman (the most difficult triathlon), Dick swam with Rick in tow for 4 kilometres in the ocean, then cycled for 180 kilometres, with his son on the cycle, and ended the race with a 42 kilometres marathon, carrying his son. The total distance Dick covered in that race, was 226 kilometres. The pair took part in many races, although it was not easy for Dick to push, run, cycle and swim with his boy attached to him, all through the race. During one such race Dick suffered a heart attack. Thankfully, he recovered. Asked why he kept doing what seemed impossible, he replied: "I run only because of my son". That was one way he showed his son that he loved him. He was prepared to do anything for his son, even with a broken heart. It is amazing how much a father's love can achieve.

61) Unsung Heros (1)

"I will always be there for you. I hope you know." Helen M.Exley

There are many stories told of a mother's love. Here are two.

1) An uneducated 46 year old Malaysian mother shows us how to cheerfully embrace the parenting vocation. Widowed 10 years ago, she raised her two children with an unshaken resolve. Her 24 year old daughter graduated from university recently. She hopes that her 14 year old son will also graduate, in time. Doing a cleaning job in an Institution, she works on shifts from 7-30AM to 11-30PM, and on alternate days, from 7-30AM to 3-30PM, not availing of holidays, to earn overtime wages. To save money for her children she walks to work, instead of boarding a bus or local train. As she recovers from breast-cancer-surgery, she speaks of her attitude to life. It is not the problems of life that matter, but how we react to them, she muses. If you look at a situation as a problem, she reasons, it will assume the dimensions of one. Rather, if you look at it as an opportunity, you will find avenues, she assures us. Cheerfully, she adds, that she has no demands or complaints. She is at peace, happy and encouraged by good friends. For a woman who has not been to school, she packs much wisdom into her words.

2) A 5 month old premature daughter with malformed limbs tests her mother's love. The mother does not fail. The daughter is now 16 and does not stop praising her mother. What would have happened to her, without her mother? She shudders at the question. Tending to every need, because she could not help herself, her mother cared for her through every doctor visit, every surgery and every ordeal for 16 years. Now she moves around like a normal person. Grieving for the sacrifices her mother made, she admits that things were extremely tough with financial stress compounding their woes, after her father deserted the family. But her mother would not let that come in the way of medical attention her daughter needed. She juggled part time jobs with full time nursing of a helpless child.

60) Never Ending

Old movies end with the words 'The End'. I have watched many movies with those familiar words. As an old-timer, wistful memories come back of a time that will never return. Memories come back also of February 23, 2009, when I started this blog. It took on the dimensions of a huge challenge, as I set out to write each post. With time(seven months), the dimensions changed and I felt more at ease. After post 59 I felt relieved. It seemed as though I had climbed a mountain and was on my way down; doing the easy part.

I have captioned this post 'Never ending'. I have some reasons for doing that. Active parenting stops with the death of the parent, but memories inspire the children even after Eternal Life has claimed another prize. Parenting, as a subject, is never finished. Since every child is unique and every situation different, the multi-faced diamond, we call parenting, continues to dazzle, and we are struck with its never ending brilliance. Your parenting experience will be different from the experience your parents had. It is the uniqueness that makes parenting an exciting journey. Then, there is the part of practice - practising what the blog advocates. And practice, as we all know goes on and on.

An area that I have not addressed is the parenting of children with special needs - those challenged in one way or other. I have neither the knowledge nor experience to offer any thoughts on this key area. I appeal to parents who have such a situation, to seek expert help and not adopt means and methods suggested by well-meaning but poorly informed folks.

When you revisit the blog, you may find points leaping off the monitor to touch you - something that did not happen the first time you read the post. Stop and take note, for the sake of your children. When you like what you have read, please tell your friends. The whole purpose of starting this blog was to reach out to parents who could do with a little help. As I wrote the blog, thoughts rushed into my mind, but ran out like frightened cattle. I had to lasso them and confine them to the safety of the blog. That was not easy. I owe it to God that most of the experiences my wife, Mabel and I had in parenting and my reflections, found a place in the 60 posts.
I praise and thank my Lord and Master, Jesus.

I would like to close this post with the words of Mary Crowley: "God does not take time to make a nobody". Let your children grow up with the belief that they are special, because God planned it so.

My son, Leo, created the blog for me; formatting it and helping me edit it, when necessary. My daughter, Teresa, actively supported him. My wife, Mabel, with unmatched keenness, checked every post for content, sentence construction and punctuation. She has a remarkable skill for copy-editing and proof-reading. My other children enthusiastically support my initiative. I am deeply grateful to all of them.

Thank you for staying the course with me. I do appreciate your support. God bless you and your family.

NOTE: Until now, every week I put up two posts. That phase is over. After this, I shall write for the blog, now and again, to share some stories that reinforce the points already made.