"Make me thy fuel, flame of God." Amy Carmichael.
Gertrude Mueller Nelson, in her book, Here all dwell free, writes of a woman who broke both her arms, tripping over a dog. The woman describes how miserable and humiliated she feels at being totally dependent on others: "Can you imagine what it feels like to need my husband and my daughter to put on all my clothes; to need my husband to wipe my bottom? This is total reduction. But the most important thing I learned was how to be still!"
Being self-reliant is good. But being cocky in our sense of independence can lead to needless grief. We imagine that we are young, healthy, wealthy and intellectually superior. We need nothing and nobody. We can manage very well on our own. Then it happens, as in the case of the woman in the story: an accident, prolonged illness, financial losses, failing memory and weakening faculties. We are brought down on our knees. Suddenly we become helpless. From independence, we sink to dependence. We feel the pain of a crushing blow to body and spirit. In bed we lie vanquished and rue our proud and defiant ways.
Do we stay vanquished or rise from a seeming disaster to accept help gratefully? Do we turn to God in humility and accept our vulnerability, weakness and brokenness? The longer we resent the predicament, the more we suffer. Like the woman in the story, do we learn to remain still and let God work His wonders through helping hands around us? With good reason Maywood sang: "What are we without a helping hand?"
It is time that we and our children learned that giving generously and accepting graciously are two sides of the same coin.
Our children could face problems in their young lives and need help, just when they believe that they are invincible. Being top of the class, having a fan-following on the field, blessed with looks to turn heads and a tongue that is praised by admirers, they could have the world at their feet. 'Special kid! Wonder kid!' could be chants that fill their ears. Suddenly things go wrong and the child is confined to bed and imprisoned in a room, at the mercy of others. Will the child cope, accepting support and sustenance from others? Much will depend on how we teach the child to cope, and not feed on self-pity and despair.
A school in Chicago that was under threat of closure, sported a banner which read:
"Lord don't move our mountain; just give us the strength to climb".
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
70 ) Teach children lessons using stories - Our True Selves
" For it is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks." Luke 6:45
The Preacher placed two identical jars on the table. Then he quoted a verse from Scripture: " The Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart " (1:Samuel 16:7). With that, he continued his demonstration. He explained that the jars were made at the same factory, were of the same material and held the same volume. Though identical, they were different because of what each held. To prove his point, he inverted the jars. Out of one flowed honey; out of the second flowed vinegar. Then he gave his audience the lesson. When the jars were upright, he said, they looked identical. Only when they were turned over (upset), did we know what was in each. He went on to draw an inference. It is the same with us, he deduced. When everything goes to our liking, we are on our best behaviour. We stand upright. But when things go wrong, when we are 'upset', what is in us comes out. Then our sophisticated or apparently calm exterior is convulsed. We become angry and violent. That is when our true selves are exposed. The masks fall off.
How do our children behave when they are 'upset'? It would largely depend on how we behave in similar situations. Surely, they learn from us. Does the honey of patience and forgiveness flow out, or the vinegar of anger and sour words? Is the Lord happy with what He sees?
To change our children for the better, we have to change ourselves first.
The Preacher placed two identical jars on the table. Then he quoted a verse from Scripture: " The Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart " (1:Samuel 16:7). With that, he continued his demonstration. He explained that the jars were made at the same factory, were of the same material and held the same volume. Though identical, they were different because of what each held. To prove his point, he inverted the jars. Out of one flowed honey; out of the second flowed vinegar. Then he gave his audience the lesson. When the jars were upright, he said, they looked identical. Only when they were turned over (upset), did we know what was in each. He went on to draw an inference. It is the same with us, he deduced. When everything goes to our liking, we are on our best behaviour. We stand upright. But when things go wrong, when we are 'upset', what is in us comes out. Then our sophisticated or apparently calm exterior is convulsed. We become angry and violent. That is when our true selves are exposed. The masks fall off.
How do our children behave when they are 'upset'? It would largely depend on how we behave in similar situations. Surely, they learn from us. Does the honey of patience and forgiveness flow out, or the vinegar of anger and sour words? Is the Lord happy with what He sees?
To change our children for the better, we have to change ourselves first.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
69 ) Teach children lessons using stories- Turning the other cheek
"But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also." Matt.5:39
Apartheid in South Africa was a blot on human history. Crime bred crime, like rats multiplying in a sewerage. In the name of racial superiority, the whites unleashed a reign of terror to oppress the blacks and crush any attempt they made to gain even a semblance of freedom. The blacks reeked revenge, but found small opportunity to carry out their plots for fear of harsh reprisals. In those times, only hate flowed like pus from a lanced boil; and the stench was nauseating. But a black woman, acting differently, showed that the flow of hate could be stemmed.
She and her two young children were walking down a street when a white man, who was walking passed the three, stopped and spat at her. Wiping her face, and with no trace of hate in her tone, she said: "Thank you, Sir. Now for the children". Hearing her totally unexpected response, the white man stood motionless and nonplussed. He did not know how to react to a woman who did not return an insult for an insult.
Do our children trade insults? Or, are they taught to be compassionate and forgiving? If they return insult for insult, they are no better than the one who started the quarrel; in no way superior to the child who is not trained well at home.
On the contrary, if they are taught to return kindness when unkindness is shown to them, they will be teaching other children silent lessons that they missed in their homes. The nonplussed ones will secretly admire our courageous children who refuse to go the tit-for-tat way.
Apartheid in South Africa was a blot on human history. Crime bred crime, like rats multiplying in a sewerage. In the name of racial superiority, the whites unleashed a reign of terror to oppress the blacks and crush any attempt they made to gain even a semblance of freedom. The blacks reeked revenge, but found small opportunity to carry out their plots for fear of harsh reprisals. In those times, only hate flowed like pus from a lanced boil; and the stench was nauseating. But a black woman, acting differently, showed that the flow of hate could be stemmed.
She and her two young children were walking down a street when a white man, who was walking passed the three, stopped and spat at her. Wiping her face, and with no trace of hate in her tone, she said: "Thank you, Sir. Now for the children". Hearing her totally unexpected response, the white man stood motionless and nonplussed. He did not know how to react to a woman who did not return an insult for an insult.
Do our children trade insults? Or, are they taught to be compassionate and forgiving? If they return insult for insult, they are no better than the one who started the quarrel; in no way superior to the child who is not trained well at home.
On the contrary, if they are taught to return kindness when unkindness is shown to them, they will be teaching other children silent lessons that they missed in their homes. The nonplussed ones will secretly admire our courageous children who refuse to go the tit-for-tat way.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
68) Teach children lessons using stories - Sowing Seeds
"You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you." John Wooden
The Pakistani Taxi Driver who was featured in the last post, will not go away without telling our children one more story and teaching them one more lesson.
As he drove down a street, he noticed a homeless man on the kerb. The taxi driver invited the man into his cab and drove him to a wholesale street, where he bought him a case of umbrellas for $20. He told the man to sell the umbrellas at $5 each, as he let him get off the cab. That afternoon it rained heavily and the man sold all the umbrellas in the case. When he met the taxi driver after a few days, he tried to return $20 to him. But the taxi driver would not accept the money. Instead, he urged the man to trade in other goods and make some money."If I take the money back, you will go back to your old ways. If you owe me money, you will continue to work", he reasoned; and added in jest: "You may pay me back in the next world".
Some men teach without the vehemence of righteousness, without the strife of arguments and without the skill of preachers. They perform quietly and move on. The taxi driver belongs to that tribe. We can only pray that his tribe increase and that our children are wise enough to learn from people like him.
"---for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me----" Matt.25:35-36
The Pakistani Taxi Driver who was featured in the last post, will not go away without telling our children one more story and teaching them one more lesson.
As he drove down a street, he noticed a homeless man on the kerb. The taxi driver invited the man into his cab and drove him to a wholesale street, where he bought him a case of umbrellas for $20. He told the man to sell the umbrellas at $5 each, as he let him get off the cab. That afternoon it rained heavily and the man sold all the umbrellas in the case. When he met the taxi driver after a few days, he tried to return $20 to him. But the taxi driver would not accept the money. Instead, he urged the man to trade in other goods and make some money."If I take the money back, you will go back to your old ways. If you owe me money, you will continue to work", he reasoned; and added in jest: "You may pay me back in the next world".
Some men teach without the vehemence of righteousness, without the strife of arguments and without the skill of preachers. They perform quietly and move on. The taxi driver belongs to that tribe. We can only pray that his tribe increase and that our children are wise enough to learn from people like him.
"---for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me----" Matt.25:35-36
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