"Puberty is the time when teens look at their feelings and want more time to themselves. It is not possible to search for an identity and still cling on to parents as before. Nine out of ten times, the child will not cling." Dr.Kit Ng, Psychologist
The third stage, adolescence(13-21), which includes the troubled teens, is perhaps the most difficult period for children and parents. At this time, children seem vulnerable, irritable and susceptible to different influences, chief of which is body chemistry. Girls, in the age group 9 to 13, passing through puberty are affected by the hormone Oestrogen. Boys, in the age group 10 to 15, passing through puberty undergo changes brought about by the hormone Testosterone. These hormones trigger changes in the minds and bodies of the children.
Teens are associated with loud, heavy metal music, garish clothes and unruly behavior. They try in different ways to establish an identity for themselves; but parents think that they use the wrong means. The different perceptions of parents and teens result in a rather tense relationship. The fact is that teens want to conform to standards set by both parents and peers, but get pulled by stronger peer-attraction. Adolescence, they say, is that period in life when a youngster apologizes to his friends for having old-fashioned parents. This peer-tendency is confirmed by research findings. A Gallup Survey of 48,000 teenagers found that 87% of them are influenced most by friends and only 51% by the home. Surprisingly, only 13% said that they were influenced by religion. It is not difficult to understand that raising teens is a distressing time for parents, when all that they try fails and they are truly 'foxed'. One mother complains: "I don't know how to get to him". She suspects that there is a huge wall separating her son from her; the kind of wall that the following letter suggests.
"Dear Mum and Dad,
We can never seem to have a decent parent-child talk. I apologize if this seems a little insensitive, but your 'I'm always right' attitude results in out never ending
quarrels. Well, I'm an individual who wants to see more freedom, despite the dangers out there. I am aware that this is one of your worries. But, one way or the other, I'm going to face reality. So, why not now? Even if I do get hurt, I'll pull myself together and carry on. Isn't that what life is about?
Signed: Silenced." (Letter taken from The Straits Times, Singapore, June 29,2005)
Although most parents shun exercising authority, teens need a structure put in place by responsible parents. Research has shown that 80-90% of teens who do not have parental authority in their lives, get into drugs, take to alcohol, get drawn to bad company and are reported to school/police on behavioral problems. It reinforces the point that parents just cannot give up, even if teens answer back or reject them. One mother uses the term 'tough love' for parental behavior at such times. She adds:
"Stay firm but loving, after setting the right example". She continues: "establish clear limits to what is acceptable and what is not". These limits take the form of a to-do list.
1) Watch for symptoms of trouble. Spot them early. Violent mood swings tell their own tale.
2) Take one problem at a time. Be calm. Do not over react.
3) Define the problem in terms they understand and relate to e.g., coming home late at night - how it affects them and not the family.
4) Objectively discuss a solution to the problem, after examining options. Prepare for the discussion, doing home-work on likely objections. Listen carefully to what is said and unsaid; words and feelings. Look for an appropriate compromise, when that is the best way out.
5) Implement the plan with the help of the rest of the family. Let no one in the family use the term 'rebel or rebellious'. It could become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
6) Don't get arm twisted or emotionally blackmailed.
7) Be patient. Results will eventually follow. Occasionally, look at the funny side,
when we, in our teens had our set of problems.
8) Never give up.
Chastened by a life-transforming experience, a sage spoke to his small band of followers. One day he had a visitor just at mealtime, whom he invited to share his simple meal. When the sage began to say a prayer before the meal, the visitor swore at God and refused to join in the prayer. The angry sage showed the man the door. That night, in a vision, God spoke with the sage: "This man has been cursing and swearing at me for many years; yet I have lovingly fed and cared for him over the years. Could you not show him some understanding, just for one meal?" What would we answer God if He asked us the same question, but in different words: "Look, only 13%
of young people show some interest in me. Yet I care for all of them day after day;
no exceptions. Can you not show some understanding with the one or two you have?"
Showing posts with label Growth Stages. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Growth Stages. Show all posts
Monday, June 22, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
32) Stages in growth - Childhood
"Give me children until they are seven and anyone can have them afterwards".
Francis Xavier
What Francis Xavier is trying to tell us is that, once the child is seven and molded, she can take on the world. The same thought is expressed in Proverbs 22:6: "Train a boy in the way he should go; and when he is old he will not depart from it". Although Francis Xavier specifies seven, let us settle for twelve, which is the time the child moves out of childhood into adolescence. Obviously, the childhood years are crucial. That is why this blog is titled: The Child is Father of the Man. What the child is, the man will become.
Stage two Childhood(3-12), is the time when children look up to parents, both mother and father, for every need. Time spent with them is very important; more important than gifts, because when parents give children time and effort, they are giving part of themselves, not gifts that money can buy. Instructions, at such times, have a huge impact on children because they believe that parents can do little or no wrong, and can be implicitly trusted. In this phase, parents will have to chop and change their inputs to suit the needs of each unique child; yet never overdraw from the deposits made into each love-bank.
There are many suggestions offered by experienced parenting Guides on how to motivate
children in stage two, but one that guarantees results is so simple that it is not given its rightful place. What is this simple suggestion?
A certain African Tribe has a strange Practice. When any member of the Tribe is guilty of a serious lapse, he/she is called out at night and made to stand in the center of a large circle. The people of the village crowd outside the circle and join in a chant, led by the Tribal Chief. Then a ceremony begins. Starting with the
Chief, right down to the youngest in the village(who is articulate), the good deeds of the guilty person are praised. All his/her acts of kindness, courage and wisdom are recalled. That done, they recite a short prayer and return to their homes. Not a single unkind word is uttered. The power of praise is set in motion.
It is the power of praise that parents have to tap. That is why Haim Ginott writes:
"If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others". Don't stop by telling others; tell the children too. They revel in praise and respond admirably. The suggestion to praise children is great, but there is a catch. Will the child perform good acts like helping an old lady across the street, picking up a book someone dropped and holding open a door for an older person to pass, only for praise? Would the child do a good deed if no one noticed? That is the test. Parents should gently, but surely guide the child into believing that the good deed is a reward in itself; praise is only the bonus.
There are times when the child has to be chided for wrong doing. At such times, begin by praising her for the good deeds done earlier(African Tribe style)and then show her how she can improve, guarding her self-respect at all times.
As the child is exposed to others, peer pressure builds. She will want to do her hair, dress and behave like others. Three cartoons, showing a little fellow speaking to his father depict current child behavior.
Frame 1:'So its a deal. I get 20% increase in pocket money'.
Frame 2:'Fine with me if you want to spend quality time with me. But I'll control
quality'.
Frame 3:'You always ask me about my school report. How come you never tell me what
your boss thinks of you?'
What comes through is that the little fellow in the cartoons did not have any respect for his father. It is likely that he learned such behavior from those in his age group. Parents have to guard against such peer influence negating inputs from home. In these and similar circumstances, disciplining becomes a priority. In posts 12 and 13 we referred to disciplining, the tricky part in parenting. Children should know that parents are in charge. If they mistakenly believe that they have taken over, parents have lost their place and will find it difficult to regain it. Parents must say 'No', when that is the right answer and stand by what they say, not to prove a point, but in the child's interest. E.g.,when she wants to scribble on the wall or on her palm, 'No' from her parents should result in obedience and not a discussion or a tantrum. If parents show weakness, children will exploit that weakness. Also, buying children things each time parents are out shopping, will lead to habits difficult to change.
Train children through dialogue. Encourage children to ask questions and be ready to answer them. When the answer is not known, promise to find out and give it to them.
Once children get into the habit of asking questions, they are truly on the way to self-development. From each experience she should be able to ask herself what she gained. By the time she is 7-8, she should be able to connect different experiences and form a pattern of behavior. E.g.,her concept of cleanliness and orderliness should include polishing her shoes and tying her shoe laces, without help from her parents. By the time she is 12, she should do her mother proud by being an accomplished hostess at her birthday party.
Francis Xavier
What Francis Xavier is trying to tell us is that, once the child is seven and molded, she can take on the world. The same thought is expressed in Proverbs 22:6: "Train a boy in the way he should go; and when he is old he will not depart from it". Although Francis Xavier specifies seven, let us settle for twelve, which is the time the child moves out of childhood into adolescence. Obviously, the childhood years are crucial. That is why this blog is titled: The Child is Father of the Man. What the child is, the man will become.
Stage two Childhood(3-12), is the time when children look up to parents, both mother and father, for every need. Time spent with them is very important; more important than gifts, because when parents give children time and effort, they are giving part of themselves, not gifts that money can buy. Instructions, at such times, have a huge impact on children because they believe that parents can do little or no wrong, and can be implicitly trusted. In this phase, parents will have to chop and change their inputs to suit the needs of each unique child; yet never overdraw from the deposits made into each love-bank.
There are many suggestions offered by experienced parenting Guides on how to motivate
children in stage two, but one that guarantees results is so simple that it is not given its rightful place. What is this simple suggestion?
A certain African Tribe has a strange Practice. When any member of the Tribe is guilty of a serious lapse, he/she is called out at night and made to stand in the center of a large circle. The people of the village crowd outside the circle and join in a chant, led by the Tribal Chief. Then a ceremony begins. Starting with the
Chief, right down to the youngest in the village(who is articulate), the good deeds of the guilty person are praised. All his/her acts of kindness, courage and wisdom are recalled. That done, they recite a short prayer and return to their homes. Not a single unkind word is uttered. The power of praise is set in motion.
It is the power of praise that parents have to tap. That is why Haim Ginott writes:
"If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others". Don't stop by telling others; tell the children too. They revel in praise and respond admirably. The suggestion to praise children is great, but there is a catch. Will the child perform good acts like helping an old lady across the street, picking up a book someone dropped and holding open a door for an older person to pass, only for praise? Would the child do a good deed if no one noticed? That is the test. Parents should gently, but surely guide the child into believing that the good deed is a reward in itself; praise is only the bonus.
There are times when the child has to be chided for wrong doing. At such times, begin by praising her for the good deeds done earlier(African Tribe style)and then show her how she can improve, guarding her self-respect at all times.
As the child is exposed to others, peer pressure builds. She will want to do her hair, dress and behave like others. Three cartoons, showing a little fellow speaking to his father depict current child behavior.
Frame 1:'So its a deal. I get 20% increase in pocket money'.
Frame 2:'Fine with me if you want to spend quality time with me. But I'll control
quality'.
Frame 3:'You always ask me about my school report. How come you never tell me what
your boss thinks of you?'
What comes through is that the little fellow in the cartoons did not have any respect for his father. It is likely that he learned such behavior from those in his age group. Parents have to guard against such peer influence negating inputs from home. In these and similar circumstances, disciplining becomes a priority. In posts 12 and 13 we referred to disciplining, the tricky part in parenting. Children should know that parents are in charge. If they mistakenly believe that they have taken over, parents have lost their place and will find it difficult to regain it. Parents must say 'No', when that is the right answer and stand by what they say, not to prove a point, but in the child's interest. E.g.,when she wants to scribble on the wall or on her palm, 'No' from her parents should result in obedience and not a discussion or a tantrum. If parents show weakness, children will exploit that weakness. Also, buying children things each time parents are out shopping, will lead to habits difficult to change.
Train children through dialogue. Encourage children to ask questions and be ready to answer them. When the answer is not known, promise to find out and give it to them.
Once children get into the habit of asking questions, they are truly on the way to self-development. From each experience she should be able to ask herself what she gained. By the time she is 7-8, she should be able to connect different experiences and form a pattern of behavior. E.g.,her concept of cleanliness and orderliness should include polishing her shoes and tying her shoe laces, without help from her parents. By the time she is 12, she should do her mother proud by being an accomplished hostess at her birthday party.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
31) The girl child
"What society does to its children, so will its children do to society." Cicero
A not-so-young woman, ridden with guilt, was in tears as she recalled an experience, sixteen years ago. When she was pregnant she prayed, like never before, that she should have a son. When she gave birth to a daughter, she was devastated. "It was a funeral to me, and not the birth of a child", she confessed. For three days she refused to touch her baby girl. So strong was her resentment, that she rather have the child dead. The child grew up knowing that she was unwanted and unloved, and was deeply resentful of her mother. The distance between the two increased to the point that the daughter left home, when still very young. With that the mother knew that she had lost her daughter forever. The death that she wanted, when the child was born, occurred without a funeral.
This is not an uncommon story. It is retold in different ways. In some communities the birth of a girl child is seen as 'bad luck' or a 'major misfortune', so much so, a wife who does not give her husband a boy child is set aside, for a new one. Mothers and grandmothers conspire to poison or suffocate to death a new born, innocent and defenseless girl child, without asking themselves the question: "What if my mother had to poison me because I was born a girl?" The paradox is that a woman does it to one of her kind.
For centuries, in different countries, in different communities the girl child has been deprived of love, proper food, the right medical attention and burdened with chores too heavy for her age. Open bias in favor of the boy child has destroyed the self-esteem of his sister. In some communities the young girl is married to an old man, for a price, or sold into prostitution. The girl child has suffered too long, in mind and body, because of her gender. Today she is giving it back to society, although the social evil is not eradicated. Cicero was right. Society treated the girl child badly, and she is in no mood to forgive. She demands freedom of choice and life-style. She dresses as she pleases and behaves defiantly, if only to spite those who tried to control her. Her exaggerated need for freedom drives a wedge between herself and her spouse. Her desperate need to be on equal or better terms than her husband, leaves a trail of crises - one spawning another. Children born in such families suffer. What the mother endured in one form, she inflicts on her children, in another form, through her selfishness. How bitterly society pays for its crimes!
Many families with such lopsided thinking could learn a lesson from a Japanese Practice. The Shimogama Shrine in Kyoto, Japan, holds a ceremony, every March, at which parents release straw baskets, carrying dolls, into the stream, praying for the safety and happiness of their much loved daughters. The doll festival is called Hina Matsuri.
NOTE: Perhaps you have noticed that in the posts so far, I referred to the child as 'he'. No gender bias was intended. It was only usage of 'he' instead of 'he/she'. In the posts that follow you will observe that I refer to the child as 'she', to balance the usage.
A not-so-young woman, ridden with guilt, was in tears as she recalled an experience, sixteen years ago. When she was pregnant she prayed, like never before, that she should have a son. When she gave birth to a daughter, she was devastated. "It was a funeral to me, and not the birth of a child", she confessed. For three days she refused to touch her baby girl. So strong was her resentment, that she rather have the child dead. The child grew up knowing that she was unwanted and unloved, and was deeply resentful of her mother. The distance between the two increased to the point that the daughter left home, when still very young. With that the mother knew that she had lost her daughter forever. The death that she wanted, when the child was born, occurred without a funeral.
This is not an uncommon story. It is retold in different ways. In some communities the birth of a girl child is seen as 'bad luck' or a 'major misfortune', so much so, a wife who does not give her husband a boy child is set aside, for a new one. Mothers and grandmothers conspire to poison or suffocate to death a new born, innocent and defenseless girl child, without asking themselves the question: "What if my mother had to poison me because I was born a girl?" The paradox is that a woman does it to one of her kind.
For centuries, in different countries, in different communities the girl child has been deprived of love, proper food, the right medical attention and burdened with chores too heavy for her age. Open bias in favor of the boy child has destroyed the self-esteem of his sister. In some communities the young girl is married to an old man, for a price, or sold into prostitution. The girl child has suffered too long, in mind and body, because of her gender. Today she is giving it back to society, although the social evil is not eradicated. Cicero was right. Society treated the girl child badly, and she is in no mood to forgive. She demands freedom of choice and life-style. She dresses as she pleases and behaves defiantly, if only to spite those who tried to control her. Her exaggerated need for freedom drives a wedge between herself and her spouse. Her desperate need to be on equal or better terms than her husband, leaves a trail of crises - one spawning another. Children born in such families suffer. What the mother endured in one form, she inflicts on her children, in another form, through her selfishness. How bitterly society pays for its crimes!
Many families with such lopsided thinking could learn a lesson from a Japanese Practice. The Shimogama Shrine in Kyoto, Japan, holds a ceremony, every March, at which parents release straw baskets, carrying dolls, into the stream, praying for the safety and happiness of their much loved daughters. The doll festival is called Hina Matsuri.
NOTE: Perhaps you have noticed that in the posts so far, I referred to the child as 'he'. No gender bias was intended. It was only usage of 'he' instead of 'he/she'. In the posts that follow you will observe that I refer to the child as 'she', to balance the usage.
Monday, June 8, 2009
30) Stages in growth - Infancy
Whenever God creates a person, He whispers to the infant:"You are my favorite. I have never made such a beautiful person before. I am not going to make another so beautiful again. You are simply unique". Arabian Proverb
Some specialists, in child rearing, maintain that children(boys and girls)pass through three stages. Stage one:Infancy, the first two years; Stage two:Childhood, 3 to 12; Stage three:Adolescence, 13 to 21. Anticipating changes in children, parents have to keep adapting at each stage. Following the same methods and style for the three stages, would bankrupt the bank of love.
In infancy(stage one), the mother sends strong signals of security to the child when:
a) she presses her infant to herself, b) she maintains face to face contact with the child, c) her verbalization to or about the child is positive, and d) she promptly and correctly responds to the needs of the child. The child senses how strongly the mother is attached to him. A survey done some years ago in India, in Maternity Homes, revealed that Nurses accidentally dropped new born babies. Surprisingly, there was not a single case of a mother dropping her infant, even if she was in her teens. The finding only confirmed what we know, that a mother would never drop her child; literally or figuratively.
At birth a chord unites the mother with her baby. From the moment the chord is cut, the child is separate; to be treated as a different person; an unique individual. He must be taught to be self-reliant, not helpless; and not be suffocated by his mother's possessive love. To develop the infant's potential and skills, the mother can resourcefully try the following options: 1) talk to her baby, in the womb, and after birth; make him feel wanted and loved. Such talking helps babies develop their own vocabulary. Most of them, by the time they are three, learn to form short, clear sentences. 2) Let them listen to music to enjoy melody and rhythm. Soon they will identify familiar tunes. 3) Encourage them to explore, rooms in the home, toys and things he can reach, as long as they are not dangerous to handle. 4) Label things as the green car, the red fire-engine and so on. Very early he will learn to identify common colors. 5) Cheer him as he tries new activities. 6) Hug him often.
We cannot adequately stress the importance of cleanliness. Keeping the child clean and the home clean are not negotiable requirements. Despite all precautions, babies will fall ill. They will catch a cold, have a bout of coughing, run a fever, suffer from a stomach upset, cry from colic, be peevish because of sleeplessness and so on.
Some mothers are crazed with anxiety when their babies fall ill. This is unnecessary
and unwise, because anxiety clouds the mind. Instead, find a good doctor who is genuinely interested in children and can empathize with anxious parents; and stick with him/her, unless the services of a specialist are required. Follow the doctor's advice. Avoid administering drugs to the child without doctor's approval. Only when parents know what drugs are specific to medical conditions, know their potency and side effects, should they attempt giving the child even the common over-the-counter
(OTC) Products. Watch the height and weight of the child to ensure that at no stage his growth is stunted. Very early get his sight and hearing checked. Guard against ear, nose and throat infections, to which children are prone. Also, check with the doctor on the need for vitamins. Experienced mothers are likely to come up with suggestions. Give them a patient hearing, but check with the doctor before trying anything different, even if it is time-tested. Please do not give the child a Soother(pacifier). A soother is habit-forming, delays the child's ability to speak, and fills the child's stomach with air, spoiling his appetite. A soother in the child's mouth reflects poorly on the mother's child-management skills. Dr Ong Eng Keow, Child-Specialist in a Singapore Hospital, strongly recommends playing with the child, right from the time he is one month old. Grasping, holding and pressing toys
increase his muscle-strength and improve his motor-skills.
Some mothers are obsessed over the eating habits of their children. They insist that children should eat enough of what they consider staple food - rice, bread, meats etc. Children prefer an assortment. Mothers ought to know that children will not stay hungry. When they are, they will ask for food. So, forcing them to eat what they dislike, is not in the interest of the children. As long as they do not gorge on junk food, aerated drinks and chocolates, it is fine. If they enjoy variety, let them. Ultimately, the nutrition, taste and calories count.
Some parents are flippant in giving their babies names like: Simple, Dimple, Twinkle,
Happy, Lucky and possibly the worst, Adolf Hitler. Somewhere in the USA, a Baker refused to bake a birthday cake for a child with the name, Adolf Hitler. Imagine the child's trauma when he is teased by his peers and given labels by adults who find his name 'funny'. Naming the child is an important decision, for which parents have to take time to check options(available on the net), and short-list a few; then discuss them and choose one which makes the child proud to own it; after all he will be called by that name for the rest of his life.
Actually, everything parents do for the infant, from the time of conception, is a manifestation of their love for the child. That explains the words of Penelope Leach:
"Loving a child is a circular business. The more you give, the more you get, the more
you want to give". The tribal woman, in the story that follows tells us how. In the Andes, South America, two tribes occupy opposite positions - one lives on the plains and the other, in the mountains. Their rivalry is perennial. Once, the tribe from the mountains raided the one in the plains and stole somethings and took away a baby.
The best climbers from the plains decided to scale the mountains to retrieve the baby. On their third failed attempt, they spied the mother of the baby descending with the baby strapped to her back. Flustered, they asked her how she did it. "Not your baby", she replied nonchalantly. Did she have to say more?
Some specialists, in child rearing, maintain that children(boys and girls)pass through three stages. Stage one:Infancy, the first two years; Stage two:Childhood, 3 to 12; Stage three:Adolescence, 13 to 21. Anticipating changes in children, parents have to keep adapting at each stage. Following the same methods and style for the three stages, would bankrupt the bank of love.
In infancy(stage one), the mother sends strong signals of security to the child when:
a) she presses her infant to herself, b) she maintains face to face contact with the child, c) her verbalization to or about the child is positive, and d) she promptly and correctly responds to the needs of the child. The child senses how strongly the mother is attached to him. A survey done some years ago in India, in Maternity Homes, revealed that Nurses accidentally dropped new born babies. Surprisingly, there was not a single case of a mother dropping her infant, even if she was in her teens. The finding only confirmed what we know, that a mother would never drop her child; literally or figuratively.
At birth a chord unites the mother with her baby. From the moment the chord is cut, the child is separate; to be treated as a different person; an unique individual. He must be taught to be self-reliant, not helpless; and not be suffocated by his mother's possessive love. To develop the infant's potential and skills, the mother can resourcefully try the following options: 1) talk to her baby, in the womb, and after birth; make him feel wanted and loved. Such talking helps babies develop their own vocabulary. Most of them, by the time they are three, learn to form short, clear sentences. 2) Let them listen to music to enjoy melody and rhythm. Soon they will identify familiar tunes. 3) Encourage them to explore, rooms in the home, toys and things he can reach, as long as they are not dangerous to handle. 4) Label things as the green car, the red fire-engine and so on. Very early he will learn to identify common colors. 5) Cheer him as he tries new activities. 6) Hug him often.
We cannot adequately stress the importance of cleanliness. Keeping the child clean and the home clean are not negotiable requirements. Despite all precautions, babies will fall ill. They will catch a cold, have a bout of coughing, run a fever, suffer from a stomach upset, cry from colic, be peevish because of sleeplessness and so on.
Some mothers are crazed with anxiety when their babies fall ill. This is unnecessary
and unwise, because anxiety clouds the mind. Instead, find a good doctor who is genuinely interested in children and can empathize with anxious parents; and stick with him/her, unless the services of a specialist are required. Follow the doctor's advice. Avoid administering drugs to the child without doctor's approval. Only when parents know what drugs are specific to medical conditions, know their potency and side effects, should they attempt giving the child even the common over-the-counter
(OTC) Products. Watch the height and weight of the child to ensure that at no stage his growth is stunted. Very early get his sight and hearing checked. Guard against ear, nose and throat infections, to which children are prone. Also, check with the doctor on the need for vitamins. Experienced mothers are likely to come up with suggestions. Give them a patient hearing, but check with the doctor before trying anything different, even if it is time-tested. Please do not give the child a Soother(pacifier). A soother is habit-forming, delays the child's ability to speak, and fills the child's stomach with air, spoiling his appetite. A soother in the child's mouth reflects poorly on the mother's child-management skills. Dr Ong Eng Keow, Child-Specialist in a Singapore Hospital, strongly recommends playing with the child, right from the time he is one month old. Grasping, holding and pressing toys
increase his muscle-strength and improve his motor-skills.
Some mothers are obsessed over the eating habits of their children. They insist that children should eat enough of what they consider staple food - rice, bread, meats etc. Children prefer an assortment. Mothers ought to know that children will not stay hungry. When they are, they will ask for food. So, forcing them to eat what they dislike, is not in the interest of the children. As long as they do not gorge on junk food, aerated drinks and chocolates, it is fine. If they enjoy variety, let them. Ultimately, the nutrition, taste and calories count.
Some parents are flippant in giving their babies names like: Simple, Dimple, Twinkle,
Happy, Lucky and possibly the worst, Adolf Hitler. Somewhere in the USA, a Baker refused to bake a birthday cake for a child with the name, Adolf Hitler. Imagine the child's trauma when he is teased by his peers and given labels by adults who find his name 'funny'. Naming the child is an important decision, for which parents have to take time to check options(available on the net), and short-list a few; then discuss them and choose one which makes the child proud to own it; after all he will be called by that name for the rest of his life.
Actually, everything parents do for the infant, from the time of conception, is a manifestation of their love for the child. That explains the words of Penelope Leach:
"Loving a child is a circular business. The more you give, the more you get, the more
you want to give". The tribal woman, in the story that follows tells us how. In the Andes, South America, two tribes occupy opposite positions - one lives on the plains and the other, in the mountains. Their rivalry is perennial. Once, the tribe from the mountains raided the one in the plains and stole somethings and took away a baby.
The best climbers from the plains decided to scale the mountains to retrieve the baby. On their third failed attempt, they spied the mother of the baby descending with the baby strapped to her back. Flustered, they asked her how she did it. "Not your baby", she replied nonchalantly. Did she have to say more?
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