101) Learning lessons - Discovering the unique child

"What society does to its children, so will its children do to society." Cicero

A certain young politician had taken up the cause of a minority group. He was completely engrossed in this project - writing, speaking and debating the issue at every forum he could find. It had become for him a magnificent obsession.

One day, a young man from the minority group visited him and begged for a moment of his time. Peeved at the young man's insistence to meet him, the politician instructed his assistant to inform the visitor that he was totally caught up in the cause of the group that he could not spare time for the individual. The startled assistant replied: "Sir, that is incredible. Even God has not reached that stage, yet". The politician had got behind a cause and ignored the person in front of him.

The same thing happens to many of us - we get caught up in the concepts of parenting that we ignore or forget to pay attention to the individual child, the one who is different, unique. To treat each child differently and not by common standards is the holy duty of parents. Instead, we try to bracket them as children and deal with them as a group - neglecting their individual preferences, traits, their blossoming personalities.

We are ruffled when we are stereotyped; yet we do precisely that to children without a thought for the person that each is. As a result our children are emotionally bruised and nurse many hurts. These hurts sometime disfigure their personalities. And willy- nilly we pay the price for the harm we bring upon them.

100) Teach children lessons - that your love cannot be measured.

"Where there is love, there is no labor; or, if there is labor, the labor is loved."
Saint Augustine.

A mother had twelve children. The youngest was a sad sight - physically and emotionally challenged. When Mother Teresa offered to take the child to her Home for children, the mother of the child begged her not to separate her child from her. "This child is the greatest gift God has given my family. All our love is showered on her. If you take her away from us, our lives would have no more meaning". (Story taken from the book: Mother Teresa, In my own words.)

This story should set us thinking. In some of our homes there could be a child who is a slow learner, autistic, deformed or physically challenged in some way. How do we respond to that child? Fatalistic? This is a cross I must carry? Is there unspoken anguish? Do we see the child as a burden that we are forced to shoulder? Do we secretly wish that the child passes on? Our attitude to the child will speak through our actions - labor that can be loved.

Perhaps, we could also learn from the mother of six, who was asked which of her six children she loved the most. Without hesitation she answered: I love that child most who is in trouble. When he is out of trouble, I love the next child who is in trouble. Her love was a response to the need of the child - not her need. As Saint Augustine puts it again: "The measure of love, is to love without measure."