The problem begins even before the couple come together. When they plan to get married, their parents check credentials - family, caste, qualifications, job security, assets and so on. Seldom do they check on the compatibility of the partners and their readiness to bring up children with the right inputs. If the partners find each other, not seeking parental help and guidance, they too skip discussing children. Mutual interests, life style, strengths and weaknesses, preference in music, reading and internet sites, attitudes to sex and money figure in their conversations. Not children. Children are an after-thought. As a result, when the doctor announces that they will have a baby in a few months, they are pleasantly surprised, but ill-prepared. Some rushed action follows: reading up, checking with young mothers, preparing baby's room and buying things that baby will need - blue or pink. Even then there is little preparation on Parenting. So when the child arrives, it is just trial and error. When the baby cries what do we do? Give him a rap; no, cuddle him.
Why do these young people not get educated on Parenting? In every profession experience counts. Experience goes at a premium. When the first child arrives, there is no experience to count on. It is much, much later that they can speak of experience. What then is the way out?
1)Study (not read) books on parenting by truthful and trusted parents.
2)Attend well-recommended courses by tried and skilled parents,whose edifying experiences become unforgettable lessons.
3)Consult parents who have had successful experiences in parenting; whose children are role models for their peers.
4)Visit blogs which offer useful tips on parenting.
Over confidence in one's ability to cope with tricky situations can result in chaos in the family and harm to the child. It is wiser and safer to be educated in this
arduous, yet holy calling, preferably before the child arrives.
Growing children and adolescents lose touch with children eventually so they are totally out of touch as adults. It helps for high school and college students to be encouraged to continue to interact with toddlers and younger children, to stay in touch with their needs, their aspirations, their innocence. It keeps alive in them (as adults) that sensitivity and understanding when dealing with children as they become parents.
ReplyDelete