Wednesday, April 1, 2009

11) Negative Parental Instructions

"The greatest battles of life are fought out everyday in the silent chambers of one's soul" Anonymous.

It is the ill wind that blows no one any good. Negative inputs damage children more than parents can imagine. It is not that parents intentionally misguide their children; they would not want harm to befall their children. Yet in their own lives some priorities emerge, which they think will benefit the children in some way, and willy-nilly pass on such inputs. In the last post(10), I listed 10 positive inputs. The flip side of those appear here, as 10 negative inputs.

1) You don't see God. But money power is for all to see.
2) Even family will respect you only if you have wealth.
3) Schooling has a limited role. What matters is being worldly wise. There are
millionaires even among school drop-outs.
4) People see and respect what you have; not what they do not see. Possessions count;
keep adding to what you have.
5) You are right; health is one form of wealth. But don't ever forget that only cash
can settle medical bills.
6) Cultivate habits that serve your purpose. If you have the habit of dressing well,
dress well to impress those who matter.
7) Look at powerful people; crowds stand in awe of them, even if their behavior is
awkward. Remember, Power eclipses Behavior.
8) Play by your rules, to win always. Push ahead; nobody gives way. And nobody sees
what you do in secret.
9) Others matter only if they serve your purpose. Wise up; when you are in trouble,
you are alone.
10)Waste is relative. What you see as good for yourself, others don't see. Why

Wittingly or unwittingly, a set of ideas, important to parents, is transferred to children, like in a blood transfusion, except that instead of blood, ideas get into the system. Once in the system, such ideas are difficult to siphon out. Perhaps years later, through inputs from grandparents, teachers and others who have a different set of values, children begin to question the ideas they received from parents. That is when Individual Programming begins to take shape. Some children may decide to squeeze out of their veins the bad ideas that flowed in them until then.
Such a cleansing does not happen always; even when it happens negative ideas do not get completely drained out.

1 comment:

  1. Negative parenting, if it can be called that is essentially a projection of a parent's own negative perception of himself/herself on to the child. In most cases the parent has sub-consciously absorbed traits from his/her parents so there is a total lack of awareness that these traits exist in the first place, let alone awareness of the need to replace negativity with a positive attitude!