128) Learn lessons - Being an example

"Your children will become what you are; so, be what you want them to be." David Bly

Someone asked a farmer, "How do you have such beautiful sheep?" "I take care of the lambs," was his immediate reply. How true! Unless he takes care of the lambs, how will they grow into beautiful sheep?

In this little episode, we have a lesson. Unless we take care of our little children they will not grow up to be good adults.

It is not that we do not know what has to be done in earnest parenting. It is just that we are negligent. We take things for granted. We give children concessions, not realizing that those concessions could become crutches they lean on. To indulge them we turn our eyes the other way when the first lie is spoken; we make excuses when they accuse and complain; we put up with less than good performance in school. Put differently, we settle for low standards. We do not raise the bar.

We do not raise the bar, because we ourselves settle for less in our lives. We are not the example we should be. Our advice is not consistent. Our disciplining is imprudent. Unless we adopt LEAD Parenting, we will have to shed hot tears, when the little ones become big. L, for love; E, for example; A, for advice; and D, for discipline. LEAD parenting is the prescription.

127) Learn Lessons - How to cope with adversity

"It is the fire of suffering that brings forth the gold of godliness."  Madame Guyon

Some years ago, my niece in Bangalore lost her nine year old son. For ten months before that, he was in and out of hospital. With a hole in his small heart and failing kidneys, he was in constant pain. Expensive drugs, heavy hospital bills, the stress and tension were taking their toll, yet my niece and her husband soldiered on. During his fifty fourth dialysis, Lionel died. For his parents, the end was a riddle, they could not solve. They could have complained and wailed at the unfairness of their son's death. Instead, they astounded us. My niece spoke of her son with great feeling, but added that life must go on. She had to get back to work and take her mind off her sorrow. And, Lionel's father was heroic when he said, "In suffering we find God".

How do we respond to adversity; to suffering? How do we cope with pain and sorrow? The way we do, will tell our children how they should manage pain when it comes, because no one escapes suffering; no one is happy on all counts. Are we preparing our children to face life taking the rough and smooth in their stride?

126) Learn lessons - on walking tall

"O God, make bad people good, and good people nice." The prayer of a child

Eknath Easwaran, the Indian philosopher and author writes: "In an Indian movie I saw recently, a villager leaves home for the first time to travel to the city of Bombay. When he returns, his family and friends crowd around him, asking what it was like in a big city. His laconic reply sums up our era:
'Such tall buildings and such small people'."

Tall buildings; small people. Does that reflect us, who live in cities?

Why do ordinary, innocent people find us small? We are big in money, positions, property and possessions, but small in other ways. We are selfish to the core, self-seeking, materialistic and self-indulgent. Others find it difficult to find space in our lives. We are self-obsessed. That is why many shun us. The few who crowd around us are not sincere, but have an agenda. We pretend to be happy, but our hearts are empty. The irony hurts, but we carry on as though that was all that mattered. Watching us go through the motions, our children ape what we do, to their detriment. How sad! Yet it could be different.

If only we let compassion into our lives, we would think of others. If we let forgiveness find a toe-hold in our lives, we would not carry around grudges and needless weight. If self-discipline became a way of life, we would derive better results from our efforts. If consideration for others governed our lives, good behavior would be natural and not an act put-on for the occasion. Just think of what our changed lifestyle would do for our children! Then Emerson's words would reflect the fine persons we and our children could become: "The best effect of fine persons is felt after we have left their presence".

125) Learn Lessons - Lose fear of death

"When we learn to die, we learn to live." Steve Jobs

In one of the books written on Mother Teresa, the following passage appears: "Once I had a man taken off the streets. He was near death, but he said: 'I have lived like an animal on the streets, but I am going to die like an angel. I will die smiling. ' He died smiling."

We have a morbid fear of death. It is not welcome at all. We do not even speak of it, because we consider it inauspicious. When it is inevitable, why not learn to face it; lose our fear of it. The more we distance ourselves from it, the more the fear of it grabs us. Isn't it time we came to terms with death? That we taught our children not to be afraid of it? 1) It cannot be escaped. 2) It is a passing from here to the hereafter 3) To those who believe in God, it is our entry into heaven. 4) It is the time to receive our rewards for all the good works we performed on earth - that is a persuasion to perform more good works, by reaching out to others. We live a fuller life, as Steve Job states.

With so much at stake, let us teach ourselves and our children to shed the paralyzing fear of death and view it as a peaceful passage through the gateway to heaven; and accept it with a smile, even as the man in story does.

124) Learn Lessons - How to be kind

"We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness." Charlie Chaplin.

A very rich father held a session every morning, for his only son. He recounted how he made money; how he had to work hard; how he beat those who were against him; how he cut corners when necessary; how his riches grew year after year. The son listened diligently. One morning, before the session started, the son asked his father: "Father, can you take all your riches with you when you die?" The father was stunned. The sessions ended that day.

Like the father in the story, we teach our children how to be clever, smart, worldly-wise and profit from every situation. We are concerned over their financial future and save for them. We want them to prosper and teach them how to save and grow strong financially. Good lessons. Nothing wrong with them, if we do not stop with those lessons. How about teaching them to care? For parents? Siblings? Friends and neighbors? Do they learn to be gentle with others? Is kindness their breast plate? Are values and virtues ingrained into them? It is time we reviewed the lessons we are giving our children. Our obsession with riches should not come back to haunt us.

123) Learn lessons - from the ant

"Go to the ant, you lazybones; consider its ways and be wise." Proverbs 6:6

There are about 150 species of ants. They are faithful to their work and do it without supervision or applause. They do not procrastinate. When an anthill is damaged, they get together and repair it, working as a team. No matter how tough their task, they just do it without arguments; and they do not quit. They seldom sleep and store food for the future. They live for about 45-65 days, but achieve much in that short time.

As parents, we tell our children stories: fables, fairy tales, animal stories and the like. But do we dwell on the moral of the story? Do we explain to our children how they can benefit from the story? Take the case of the ant! What can we learn from that tiny creature? 1) Do not expect applause. 2) Work on your own, without supervision. 3) Do not put off what can be done now. 4) Learn to work as part of a team. 5) Less talk and more work. 6) Do not give up. So many big lessons, from one so small!

If only we got our children to understand these lessons, how instructive it would be! They would work, and work as a team, without supervision; not expecting applause for a job well done. They would do their home work and other duties without delay and not quit even if the task was tough. Would to God, we have the wisdom of parenting!

122) Learn Lessons - Not to Stumble

"The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none."  Thomas Carlyle

One time President of the USA, Gerrard Ford, stumbled and almost fell off. The act of falling was photographed. His pictures in that awkward posture caused considerable embarrassment in Washington. Headlines asked inconvenient questions: Is the President okay? That 'okay' went beyond physical fitness. That 'okay' suggested that he was not okay. A moment of weakness made sensational news.

Often we too stumble - miss a step and almost fall - much to the amusement of our children. We recover our poise and brush off the incident. But our children continue to laugh. That is just one way of stumbling. When we break promises, we stumble. When we make tall claims and do not live up to them, we stumble. When we make resolutions and not pursue them, we stumble. In truth, we are stumbling in more ways than Gerrard Ford, and headlines are framed by our children at home, who miss out on nothing. They watch the fun and peg us down to less than ordinary mortals. We become objects of scorn because we will not acknowledge our faults and try to correct them. When will we stop stumbling, for the edification of our children?

121) Learn Lessons - To overcome difficulties

"I thank God for my handicaps, for through them I have found myself, my work and my God."
Helen Keller

Here is another who has the spirit of Helen Keller: Jessica. She is 26, 155cms tall, but without arms - she was born without them. Yet, she takes part in all activities, using her feet like her arms. With supportive parents, she learned to drive a modified car and moved on to drive one without modifications. She can type, comb her hair and even fix her contact lenses - all with her feet. She realized that she needed to communicate her indomitable spirit to others and became an outstanding speaker to do that.  One day she hopes to fly a plane and raise a family. She lives by a code: the greater the difficulty, the greater the glory.

How we wish we lived by the same code! Instead, dwarfed by problems, we complain and fret, giving in to frustration. The smallest of problems becomes a crisis for us. We expect people to help us, although we will not return the favor. We blame God and others, even for situations we bring upon ourselves. As a result we become morbid and bitter. Without realizing it, we pass on the same attitude to our children who constantly complain against the system. They will fault teachers and class-mates and friends; yet never point a finger at themselves.

Isn't it time we gave some thought to our lapsed outlook and help our children change theirs?

120) Learn Lessons - Not to repeat mistakes

"We are what we repeatedly do."  Aristotle

Sisyphus, in Greek mythology, is condemned to roll a massive stone to the top of a hill, only to watch it roll down, and repeat the exercise endlessly. He was condemned by the Gods because he revealed divine secrets to mortals.

We sympathize with Sisyphus. We rebuke the Gods for being unduly harsh and would do what is possible to reduce the severe punishment the condemned man has to suffer. We are ready to help, but do not know how.

The irony is that we do not help ourselves. We too are condemned; punished - not by the Gods, but by our own mindless ways. Sisyphus repeated an exercise endlessly; we repeat willful acts over and over again. Sinful thoughts, unkind words, foul deeds and vengeful acts are repeated, not because we are punished into performing them, but because we choose to; because we will not have it any other way. We condemn ourselves. And who watches? Our children, who should be edified by our example are scandalized. At first they are confused. Then they learn to imitate us, and in time it becomes their response to the challenges in life - hit back, acid remarks, pride and vain glory, deceit, and an unkind way of life.

Sisyphus could blame the Gods. Who will our children blame?

119) Learn Lessons - Anger management

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." Mahatma Gandhi

Today's paper (December 15, 2012) carried a shocking story. In Mumbai (India), a 37 year-old woman threw acid on a 4 year-old boy - her neighbor's child, for playing in front of her house. Please read that again, and let it sink in. The child was admitted into hospital with the left of his face and upper body burnt. The woman was booked - a small compensation for the hurting parents of the boy.

What is becoming of us? Is rage making us blind? Must we vent our anger on a child? Will it always be an eye for eye? Because we refuse to manage our anger we commit dark deeds and take the light out of other lives. That woman (I shall not refer to her as a lady) heightened her rage to a point that she did not picture what would happen to the child through her foul deed. If he is disfigured, his parents will not let him forget the one who made him so. He too may want an eye for an eye, when he grows up. The cycle goes on.

Mahatma Gandhi cautioned that the trend would make the whole world blind. We don't have to wait for that. It looks like we have already gone blind. And who is watching this blind rage? Our children. They will find sanction in our actions and follow in our footsteps. The story of a pampered teenager stabbing his teacher (in Chennai, India) for a remark she made in his diary, is still fresh in our minds.

How important it is for us to bridle our anger and behave in a mature fashion for our children to be edified!

118) Learn Lessons - Making sense of God

"And be sure, in joys or trials, God is there!"  Cleo King.

A cynic, sitting under a huge nut-bearing tree, holds a monologue with God: Such a huge tree has such small nuts and a slender creeper bears a huge water melon. Is that not disproportionate, he asks God? Just as he concludes his question, a nut from the tree falls on his head. The cynic, in relief, says: "Thank God that was not a water melon".

There is profound wisdom in the ways of God. What seems senseless to us now, turns out to be full of sense in the long run (thankfully the cynic did not have to wait for long to find out). In our finite intelligence we are not able to comprehend Infinite wisdom, just as we cannot empty the ocean with our cupped hands. A five-year-old cannot understand atomic physics, but the fact that he does not understand it, does not make it a lie. Unless we come to terms with our limitations, we will at opposite ends with God. Such thinking that we needlessly adopt does harm to our children. They have to look up to God and find in Him a loving Father who cares for them even when things don't seem to go right. There is a purpose in what happens and the truth will be revealed to us in time. That confidence the child should have - which can be given only by us. When we fail to instil in the child faith in God and an abiding love for him, we fail in one of our basic duties.

Cleo king's assurance should be the staff to lead us and our children on our way.

117) Learn lessons - overcoming fear

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Franklin Roosevelt (1882-1945)

Eknath Easwaran, Philosopher and writer tells a story: "Many years ago, I stayed at the home of a hospitable woman who happened to believe in ghosts. Her home had a beautiful view which took in the cemetery nearby, and though she was fond of me, nothing I could say could convince her that ghosts from that cemetery did not pay her visits. So, one day, I announced casually that I was going for a walk in the cemetery. When I returned, she was wringing her hands. 'Did you see any ghosts?' she asked anxiously. 'Oh yes', I said. "Three. I told them that you were too nice a lady to be living in fear all the time, and that they should go away and leave you alone.' 'And what did they say?' she giggled. 'They said that they could not, as long as she believed in them. So, they have to stay.' She stared at me for a second, then laughed out loud. Those ghosts never bothered her again."

 Like the lady in the story, our children harbor needless fears - of school, the teacher, the bully, ghosts, darkness and so on. They bed wet and have nightmares. Many parents make the mistake of belittling such fears, or labeling the child as a sissy. This does more harm. We have to gently but firmly address the fears of our children. Unless we do that when they are young, they will grow up to be young adults who fear their shadows. It is not easy, but we cannot give up trying. Through bedtime stories that dispel such fears, examples of others who overcame such fears, going with them to dark places to show them there is nothing to fear, showing them how to deal with the bully, visiting the school and jointly confronting their fears, we may take them slowly, but surely out of the complex they suffer from. The words of Roosevelt ring true.

116) Learn Lessons - Sacrificing for children

"I'll always be there for you. I hope you know." Helen M. Exley

In the last post (115), we referred to the courage of children, citing two stories from the many that came to us from the earthquake in China in May 2008. Here are two more, but this time, on the courage and sacrifice of parents.

1) A 3/4 month-old baby was rescued with no injuries. How did it happen? His mother bent over him to shield him from falling debris and continued to nurse him until she died. A cellphone found on the child, carried the message: "Dear child, if you survive please remember that mom loves you forever".
2) Song Xinying (3) was pulled out of the rubble after two days. She survived, but lost a leg. Her parents who formed an arch over her, to save her from falling rubble, died in the act.

Let us pay a silent tribute to those selfless and sacrificing parents.
We may not be called upon to give up our lives for our children, but invited to make big and small sacrifices for them, sometimes surrendering our pet dreams for them. We may be persuaded, by circumstances, to make sacrifices in money, time and effort. At such times, do we act grudgingly? Do we hold back, even a little? Do we complain? Do we tell our children of the sacrifices we made and expect them to make good? The noble deeds of the Chinese parents should inspire to go beyond the ordinary, to attain celestial heights. The motto of Helen M. Exley should become ours.

115) Learn Lessons - Courage guarantees all other qualities.

"Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees all others."  Winston Churchill

There were many stories told of courage demonstrated during and after the earthquake in China in May 2008. Two that struck me were:
1) A high school student found at the site of a collapsed building had both her hands and both her legs broken. The rescue workers wept, but she smiled and said: "Be brave".
2) A 5-year-old was rescued 24 hours after the quake. His left hand was broken, but he smiled and saluted the rescue workers, even as they cried.
As we admire these brave children, we can only hope that a spark of their courage might inflame us!

How do we respond when we are faced with adversity? Do we mourn our loss? Do we lament the fact that we have to suffer when others have escaped? Does it blur our view of life? Are we distraught by misfortune? Do we curse and swear? Do we blame God for what has happened to us? Invariably, a combination of these emotions and responses get the better of us and we become bitter. How different the Chinese children were! Perhaps their parents taught them to face trial and tribulation with fortitude; perhaps they prepared them for hard days; perhaps they showed them how to rise from a fall. Can we too teach our children to find courage when everything seems lost? Can we instil in them a new sense of joy in life which will not give way to lamentation and despondency? They will learn from us, when we can teach through example!

114) Learn Lessons - Detached from riches

"Not he who has much is rich, but he who gives much."  Erich Fromm

Lord Braco, a Scotsman, who was very rich and miserly, had a store of gold and silver in his vault. One day a farmer said to him: "I will give you a shilling if you let me see all your gold and silver". Braco consented. The farmer gave him the shilling saying: "Now I am as rich as you are. I have looked at your gold and silver and that is all you can do with it".

Strangely, that is what we can do with our riches - look at them. The sad part of being rich is the clinging and clutching spirit that goes with the state - the state of attachment. We harbor a secret pride in what we possess not realizing that 'all will pass' - we cannot take anything with us when we die. Yet, we are far from giving to those in need. We rather hoard.

The example of my father comes back to me again and again. No one who came to him empty handed went back empty handed. He gave of his money, time and effort. He gave even when it hurt. The outpourings that we listened to on his death are still fresh in my mind.

When we stop hoarding and giving, our children will learn from us. In turn they will give freely of their little mite, time and effort and build up treasures that will not rust or decay.

113) My Latest Book- Life Lessons- Just Out

Have just published my fourth book, "Life Lessons- A Christian Sharing". It is available at all the St.Pauls Book Stores and Pauline Media Centres in India. For a complete listing of stores see the link at the bottom of this post. ( Price: Rs.130 ). If you are outside India ( Price: US$ 8.95 ) do contact me directly to purchase a copy at ignatiusfernandez@gmail.com and I will arrange to reach a copy to you.

Below is a review of the book. Hope you like the book.

REVIEW: LIFE LESSONS - A CHRISTIAN SHARING by Ignatius Fernandez.
Published by St. Pauls, Mumbai. Copies available at all book centers of Saint Paul/ Pauline Book Shops in the country.

To the jaded eye, the title of the book 'Life Lessons - A Christian Sharing' may not bode well. Clearly, most of us are increasingly wary of being lectured to or taught any lessons; let alone life lessons! But this book shares a message that undoubtedly merits attention. 

A compilation of articles written by speaker, author, blogger and admittedly a proud Christian, Ignatius Fernandez, this book, like a ‘Best of the Best’ music album, delights and delivers at the same time.   

One of the reasons why this book works is that almost every page is punctuated with questions that prompt some level of soul-searching. Some questions tread softly. Some confront. But they continually strengthen the case that the author is trying to build. And thankfully, this is not a case built on convoluted arguments or long-winded analysis. In a series of clear, concise and convincing articles, the author shares his view of Jesus’ teachings as life lessons to be cherished and acted on.

In an age of diminishing attention spans, brevity is always welcome. But in this book, it does not come from glossing over essentials. Thumbing through virtually any page yields rich dividends.

Grounding ideals to real life is not easy. But with apt anecdotes, a liberal dose of personal experience and practical advice, the author helps readers apply the life lessons to real life situations. So alongside insights into praise, forgiveness and sharing, you will also come across insights into refreshingly everyday concerns – managing money, making your marriage work and disciplining children effectively. And it is obvious that the author has spent some time thinking about these concerns.

A compilation of articles, written over time and for different publications, runs the risk of being disjointed. But in this case, the logical grouping of articles under specific themes unifies the message.

Not to be missed!

Reviewed by R. F. IVAN. (MA ; MBA, living for the last 10 years in Sydney, Australia and working for a large American Consulting Company. He is an author, painter and violinist.)

List of Distributors St Pauls

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My earlier book "Through the Eye of A Needle" is now available at the following book stores.

Through the Eye of a Needle: Transforming Relationships by Ignatius Fernandez

A book about building meaningful and enduring relationships - with God, self, wife, husband, child, old parent, friend and colleague.

Copies now available at the following book stores in Chennai

·      Good Pastor International Book Centre

63 Armenian Street (St Mary’s Church campus), Parrys Corner, Chennai 600 001. Tel: 044-25388547

·      CLS Book Shop

68 Evening Bazaar Road, Park Town, Chennai 600 003. Tel: 044-25354296

·      ELS Book Shop

95-A Vepery High Road (near Veterinary College), Chennai 600 007. Tel: 044-25323231

·      ELS Book Shop

Purusawalkam (opposite Doveton Cafe), Chennai 600 007. Tel: 044-26422722

·      Santhome Book Shop (Santhome Cathedral campus)

Mylapore, Chennai 600 004. Tel: 044-65465248

Copies now available at the following book stores in Bangalore

·      Pauline Book and Media centre

21 Museum Rd, Next to St.Patrick's Church

Richmond Town Bangalore 560 025

Tel: 080 2558 7106; 2532 7773

·      Gangarams Book Bureau

72 MG Rd,Bangalore 560 001

Tel: 2558 1617/18; 2558 6189

·      CLS Bookshop

"The Estate" Ground Floor,Rear Block

Next to Manipal Centre

121 Dickenson Rd

Bangalore 560 042

Tel: 2558 2729

·      OM Books Retail

4th Main Rd,3rd Block

Above Kammanahalli FoodWorld

Kalyan Nagar Kammanahalli

Bangalore 560 043

 A review of the book is below:

112) Learn Lessons - Lending a helping hand

After the verb 'to love', 'to help' is the most beautiful verb in the world.  Bertha Von Suttner

We arrived from Sydney at Changi Airport, Singapore, With some difficulty I lifted off the belt one suitcase weighing 32 kilos. Suddenly, a young man arrived at my side and placed the heavy suitcase on the trolley. He also picked up our small bag off the belt and put it on the trolley. I had not seen this young man before. From his conduct I could tell that he just wanted to help a stranger. I was edified, even as I thanked him profusely.

How is it with us? Do we reach out to strangers? To those who need help, but do not ask for it? When we are blinkered in our view and see only what concerns us, we will miss opportunities to lend a helping hand. On the contrary, when we are all-embracing and willing to reach out to those in trouble, our children will learn from us and offer to help teachers, classmates, friends and us at home. The fabric is only as good as the thread that goes into the weave. Likewise, the family is only as good as the values that bind it.

111) Learn Lessons - Being a peacemaker

"If we have not peace it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other." Mother Teresa.

During WWI in 1914 British and German soldiers were assured that they would be home for Christmas. But the war dragged on and on and nearly 85 hundred thousand people died and many were injured. On the night of December 24, 1914, the weather was freezing cold. The soldiers could not hide in trenches since the slush was also very cold. The German soldiers began to light candles and hold aloft Christmas trees. The British soldiers watched and were amazed. The Germans were sitting ducks - they could be shot down. Instead, they saw it as a sign of hope and emerged from their hiding. The Germans began singing "Silent Night"; the British joined the singing. They dropped their weapons, shook hands and exchanged small gifts. Enemies forgot their differences and peacefully celebrated Christmas. This incident became wartime history.

Do we hold on to differences and nurse grudges in our hearts - with those who were once friends, with relations who were once close; with colleagues who were almost friends; with spouses; with children; with parents? Relationships that have gone sour are the breeding grounds for animosity and plotting. If only we remember the WWI incident, we shall gain strength and put away our differences and extend our hands in cordiality. We shall regain what we lost. Unless we teach our children to overlook differences and focus on what is common, they too will bear grudges against teachers, one time friends, and playmates. They will lose out on the beauty of forgiveness and the warm embrace of love.
They and we will regain peace, because together we have learned that we belong to one another. Shall we promise ourselves that we shall not delay but start immediately to mend fences?

110) Learn Lessons - Lend a helping hand

"You cannot live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you." John Wooden

The Economist of March 31, 2012, carried an insightful article. Lyn Lusi (62) died in the Congo after a life time of service. Under the banner of HEAL - Health, Education, Action, Love - she reached out to the raped/abused women and the traumatized children of the Congo. Her husband, a local, performed surgeries to mend broken bones. Together, they worked wonders, bringing hope where there was despair, strength where there was weakness and healing where there many many wounds of body and mind. They worked tirelessly, sparing no time, effort or expense. We can salute in admiration!

Can we stop at that? Should we not ask ourselves what we do with our lives besides making money, advancing our careers and seeking popularity? Do we reach out? Not in the big way Lyn Lusi did, but in small ways? Is our neighbor happy to meet us because we genuinely care, and not pretend concern? Is that distant cousin who is without a job pleased when we make sincere inquiries and offer practical suggestions, and not offer casual advice? Is the old lady, sick for months, in the next block, really happy to have us visit her and share our concern for her health and well being? Unless we care, how will our children care? From whom will they learn to lend a shoulder to a classmate who has lost a parent, help a slow learner without showing off, keep company of an acquaintance who is feeling homesick and lonely? We cannot end a perfect day without reaching out; so too our children.

109) Learn Lessons - Loving children without counting the cost.

"Who is it that loves me and will love me forever with an affection which no chance, no misery, no crime of mine can do away? It is you, my mother. Thomas Carlyle.

Some years ago, on a hot summer day, a little boy went out to swim in the old swimming hole, behind his house. He jumped into the water and swam towards the middle of the lake. Just then an alligator swam towards the boy. The boy's mother, by now, had reached the lake and watched with dread the approaching alligator. She yelled to her son to get to the shore fast. As the boy reached the shore the mother grabbed him, even as the alligator snapped at his feet. A fierce tussle ensued between the mother and the alligator, each trying to pull the boy. Hearing her screams, a farmer who passed by shot the alligator, just in time. After weeks in the hospital, the boy recovered, but the ugly scars on his legs, from the ferocious teeth of the alligator, told the tale of a lucky escape. The scars on his arms were less ugly, but deep - where his mother's nails dug deep into his flesh to hold on to him. He prided in those scars as he gloated over his mother's superior strength, born of strong love.

Without warning, we are called upon to demonstrate heroic love for our children; perform super human acts of love. Are we mentally ready? When the time comes, will we be found wanting? Such acts may not always call for physical strength. They may test our moral correctness, when we have to protect our children from the preying claws of evil. When their baser instincts militate against the programming given to them at home, we will have to there for them gently guiding them to safety. That is when love is stronger than other forces!